


oh, won't you stay with me, cause you're all i need

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Smut, M/M, Past Louis Tomlinson/Perrie Edwards, Past Zayn Malik/Louis Tomlinson, brief but fucked up, i didnt realize until after i wrote it so let's just pretend i didn't do that, im sorry, liam loves Louis, louis is insecure, past zerrie also briefly mentioned, perrie's in there for like a second, reposted bc im dumb and forgot the italics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 09:06:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 36,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2502236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"It's not demanding, it's desperate, and Louis looks up immediately. Liam's eyes are glazed, and he looks sad, sad for Louis, and maybe Louis isn't terrible, if Liam can get this way over him. "</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Or, the one where Louis thinks life can be lived how he's been living it, until he meets Liam. Liam puts things in perspective for Louis, not always the good kind. Louis is insecure and just needs to get his shit together so Liam can have him and all his indecencies and so Louis can let himself be loved, and most of all, so Harry can say 'i told you so' without actually saying it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	oh, won't you stay with me, cause you're all i need

**Author's Note:**

> so um this is my first fic of this nature and i started it in like early july and never really worked on it and now it's october and here we are. and i didn't have a beta read this so bear with me and yeah i just really love lilo
> 
> and thanks to my friend brianna for getting me into writing this :) love you banana

"Please give him another chance," Harry says to Louis as soon as he walks in the door. They just got off the phone, where Louis thoroughly complained about how wrong Liam was for him. 

"No, I told you on the phone it was all wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong," Louis says without even looking at Harry, just slides past him and walks straight into his apartment. He plops himself on the couch, kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

"But that can't be right," Harry presses as he joins Louis on the couch. "It was all planned out. This was supposed to be perfect." Harry shakes his head, just not understanding how this didn't work out. He'd thought for sure this would be it, he wouldn't have to bother setting Louis up anymore, Liam was the perfect match, he could see it all in his head.

"Well, it wasn't. And I told you to stop trying to set me up. I can figure it out for myself," Louis grumbles, crossing his arms. He knows Harry's not exactly a fan of his getting around, Harry's a settle downer, and Louis isn't - or hasn't been at least. Not for a while, and probably not ever again. And he cannot express how much it irritates him that Harry interferes in his love life, it makes Louis feel like he has less of a shot at anything than he already did by being thrown with someone through a mutual friend. Harry _needs_ to stop it, he thinks he's helping, and Louis appreciates that, really, he does, but _fuck_ he wishes he could be left alone. Harry has been doing this since college, when they first roomed together, and it hasn't worked yet. Why can't Harry let it go? Louis has...n't. Whatever, it's his life, not Harry's.

"Please?" Harry begs. "Just one more date. He wants to try it again. He likes you. C'mon Lou," Harry leans in towards Louis.

"Well, I don't like him," Louis repeats, biting his lip. 

But that's not true, not true at all. Louis likes him _too_ much. Everything about last night was perfect. Nothing has ever gone so right on a date before. Liam was too wonderful for words, the complete opposite of who Louis usually dates. Louis can't get over what a sweetheart Liam was, and can't figure out for the life of him _why_ he's so attracted to him. Half of it is purely the fact that Louis would love to see how Liam is in bed - dear God, his _hands_ \- Louis knows that much, but it's only part of it. There was an actual spark last night, Louis felt his heart ignite, and it scared the shit out of him. Louis hasn't felt that in a long, long, time, and even then it wasn't this strong after half a date, it took months the first time. It really doesn't help that Liam is so undeniably... _hot_. He was taken aback when he first saw him in the restaurant's ambience, it just added to the twisting and churning of feelings Louis had that haven't been touched in years. His stomach was in knots before the appetizer even came. He enjoyed himself too much, especially for a blind date, and especially when all Louis allows is three dates. Louis knew it would've been more than three, which is why he had to end it halfway through his chicken florentine. Everything inside him was so screwed up, and Liam running after him to offer Louis a ride home because it's the least he could do after being so effortlessly perfect and gentle and kind on the date, did not help with Louis' emotional turmoil at all. And the fact that Liam said he understood and actually meant it - Louis could see it in his brown doe eyes - was making Louis feel even worse because Liam doesn't deserve this treatment and Louis certainly doesn't deserve someone that fantastic so how could he possibly go on more dates with Liam when he's nothing special, nothing great, nothing worth it, _nothing_ compared to Liam. And Liam doesn't even know how amazing he is, which makes it even harder for Louis to stay away because, fuck, he just radiates everything Louis isn't, everything Louis needs. And he's too scared out of his wits to admit it, especially to Harry, but mostly himself.

But Louis wants to see more of Liam. That was the best half a date of his life, it was so easy to talk to Liam, Louis just felt... open. He could say anything and Liam would laugh - and it was such a nice laugh, such a beautiful smile, Louis would do anything to see it again. But he can't because he doesn't deserve Liam, and Liam can do better.

"...just try one more time. Give him a call, see how it goes. Please? I think this will be good for you," Harry is saying. Louis realizes he's been rambling the whole time he's been lost in his thoughts.

"Harry," Louis sighs, sitting up straight. "No. I just - I don't know. No."

"That's why you should call him!" Harry suggests like it's so simple. "So you can know for sure. Please? He didn't tell me what happened, but he feels bad about it. He wants to make it up to you."

"He does?" Louis asks, because of fucking course Liam thinks it's his fault. It's not, he did nothing wrong, it's Louis who's fucked it all up. He really doesn't want Liam to feel that way, he should never feel that way, how could he even ever do anything wrong? Which is why Louis runs a hand through his hair and over his face, sighs deeply and says, "Fine, I'll call him," because he has to let Liam know that it really wasn't him. And because Louis really wants to see him again. And Louis thinks that's a problem he really has to get a handle on.

"You will? That's great!" Harry claps Louis on the back, looking at him expectantly. 

"Well, I'm not gonna do it now," Louis says, settling back into the couch. "Later," he promises, giving Harry a slide glance and the extra confirmation he needs because he knows Harry didn't believe him. 

"Good," Harry smiles, turning on the T.V.

•••

Louis calls Liam the next day.

And he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a nervous wreck and he remembered everything from their conversation except that they were meeting today at two, because Liam had just woken up and his phone voice was even more distracting now that he was all groggy and Louis felt his stomach knotting again at the thought of being able to hear that voice on a constant, and then he got scared again. He swallowed when he hung up and ran to the bathroom to take a cold shower because he didn't know what else to do to stop this feeling growing inside of him.

They meet in the park between their apartment buildings. It's about a ten minute walk for Louis, and he can't think straight. He has no idea what he's going to fucking say, he's never felt this invested in someone before. There's no way sticking around will be good for Liam, and Louis knows this, he has to tell him they can't go on, because Louis is a screw up. But he knows Liam will be all caring and just _good_ and won't let Louis walk away, and honestly, Louis doesn't know if he'll be able to insist on his point once Liam does that, there's too much want for this to go right, but Louis finds himself hoping it doesn't, so he can have Liam. It's selfish, he knows, but Jesus, they haven't even slept together yet, and Louis wants, no needs, to know what that's like, what Liam feels like, how his hands feel on Louis' thighs, his back, roaming his body... 

Louis blushes, looking up at the people passing him on the street, fearful they somehow know what he was thinking. His hands shake despite the warm weather and he shoves them in his hoodie pockets, hoping no one notices his frustration, but also hoping someone does so he doesn't have to face Liam. 

And there he is, sitting on a bench, two smoothies in his hand, looking straight at Louis. He smiles wide and stands, waving a hand at him, and Louis has never wanted to run away more in his life, because how can he do this, how can he not be pulled towards that inviting smile and warm eyes, how can he say what he needs to say without his mind and body contradicting him, and how in the world can he actually walk away when it's all done, and for fuck's sake he bought him a smoothie. 

So Louis crosses the street, closing in on Liam, who already has his smoothie extended out to him. 

"Hi," Liam beams as if there's no problem here whatsoever. "I remember you saying you like mixed berry stuff last night, so here."

Louis wants to throw a fit. Of course Liam remembered when Louis barely mentioned he would prefer that flavor over just strawberry lemonade, even though that's what he ordered (he usually would just have gotten beer but impulse made him get something sweet because Liam's lips matched the drink perfectly and he could not keep his mind off of them), because Liam is just nice, too nice for Louis.

But he doesn't flip out, he takes the drink instead and smiles. Inside he's wondering how can he possibly tell him now that he's taken a smoothie from him? So Louis works it around in his mind that he just can't, because that's downright rude, and he has some decency. So he can't even mention a word of it to Liam at all today, because, yeah, that sounds right, it's socially wrong to just drop that bomb after drinking from a smoothie that was given to him, a wild berry one at that. 

So Louis takes a sip of the smoothie, and steps closer to Liam, forgetting why he was even so worried in the first place, because, oh God, that's a new cologne on Liam, and Liam hugs him and whispers "thanks for meeting with me," his hot breath fanning over Louis' face, and Louis could just practically melt, and his breath smells like strawberry banana smoothie, and Louis prides himself on remembering that as Liam's favorite ice cream flavor and, fuck, does he wanna share some strawberry banana ice cream with a stupid cinnamon stick too, just so he can see the joy on Liam's face from the treat. Louis lost all his pretenses entirely and is so epically screwed with this guy he only had one date with, because there's no way he'd remember the importance of strawberries and bananas on any other date.

Liam lets go of Louis, his smiling quickly turning into a frown, his eyebrows knitting together. "What's wrong?" he asks Louis, because Liam doesn't want anything to go wrong, he wants Louis to feel comfortable, he wants Louis to be fine.

Louis shakes his head. "Nothing." He smiles at Liam because he just can't let Liam know.

"Okay. Well, then, I was hoping we could walk around, a bit? Maybe go to lunch? If you're hungry," Liam suggests, not taking his eyes off Louis.

Louis nods. "Mhm. Sounds nice."

So Liam smiles at Louis, and they start walking, and Liam puts a hand on his back, just for a few seconds, and Louis can feel the warmth of his hand through his hoodie and he gives in, he lets himself be with Liam, because hey, he deserves to be happy for once, too. And Liam telling him about that funny T.V. show he watched last night as they walk, the one episode of which Louis missed because he was too emotionally screwed up to lift his face out of his pillows, makes him happy beyond belief.

•••

They end up doing it at Louis' place.

Louis doesn't know how, and frankly, doesn't care why, because all he can think about is the way Liam's lips still taste like the pretzel they shared at the mall that they called dinner, because yes, they spent the whole day together, and it is now nine at night and Louis can't keep his fingers from running over Liam's short hair, and there's no way any amount of self control could stop Louis from _kissing_ Liam. Even as he fumbles for the keys in his pocket, Liam's back against his front door, his plump lips leaving a trail down Louis' neck as his hands shake and he somehow manages to unlock the stupid fucking door, because he couldn't wait any longer, and he wants to take Liam to bed, or the couch, or the kitchen floor, or right here in the fucking doorway if they don't get a move on. But Liam wraps his arms around Louis' back, reattaching his lips to his and starts walking backwards into the apartment, and Louis almost forgets to close the door behind them. 

He tosses his keys and almost stumbles over Liam's feet as he tries to lead them to his bedroom. Liam's hands start to roam, already tugging at Louis' shirt and hoodie, his warm fingers making goose bumps appear. Louis fights the urge to moan and pushes himself up against Liam, wrapping his arms around his neck. They back up into the bed and Liam drops his hands to Louis' ass and squeezes, and Louis can't fight the moan that time. Liam smirks at this against Louis' lips and lifts him by the tops of his thighs, and turns around leaning forward so that Louis falls back on the bed, and oh God, Liam is on top of him and Louis has to stop himself from getting on all fours right there and letting Liam take him. Liam doesn't hesitate to put his mouth back on Louis', already biting Louis' bottom lip, slipping his tongue inside his mouth. Liam's hand travels down to palm Louis through his jeans, and Louis moans, "fuck," and tries to rip off Liam's shirt without having to break contact from his lips because they just feel too fucking good to not be kissed.

"Fuck, you're so hard," Liam groans against Louis' mouth, moving his lips down to his neck and Louis' hips involuntarily buck up, his cock twitching in his jeans. Liam grabs at Louis' belt, fumbling with the buckle and Louis does the same to Liam, both desperately trying to feel more, and Louis could come right now.

They throw their clothes to the floor, and Liam manages to get Louis' shirt off, and then he's leaning down and sucking at the skin just below Louis' neck, moving down Louis' chest and flicking his tongue out at his nipples, around his belly button and down his happy trail, still palming him just through the boxers now. Louis moves his hands to Liam's ass, pushing him down as his mouth nears his dick. Louis can feel Liam's pressed against his thigh, and of course, Liam is wearing briefs, as if he wasn't enticing enough.

Liam's tongue flicks just below the waistline of Louis' boxers and Louis shudders, because he's so fucking close and Liam won't stop teasing and Louis wishes for nothing more than to just shove his cock down Liam's throat.

"Fuck, Liam," Louis moans, tightening his grip on the little hair of Liam's he can grab.

Liam smiles against his waist and starts kissing the soft skin there, sucking and biting and just fucking teasing and Louis can't take it anymore. He pushes Liam's head down farther, and places Liam's hand on the edge of his boxers, helping him pull them down.

"Tell me what you want, Louis," Liam says, stopping his boxers from going any further. "Tell me what you want me to do."

Louis almost whimpers at the pause, breathing deeply and heavily. "Y...you," he gets out. "I want... lips..." is all he can get after that, and all Liam needs to smile proudly and lean up and kiss Louis on the lips, before moving right back down, rolling his boxers over his cock. 

Liam doesn't miss a beat, and instantly wraps his lips around Louis, and Louis twitches inside his mouth. And his tongue won't stop flicking and swiping and his cheeks are hollowing around Louis, sucking just right, bobbing his head up and down and Louis can't stop a leg from kicking out. 

"Liam..." Louis breathes out. He kicks a leg again because Liam starts swirling his tongue around Louis' tip and just runs his hands underneath Louis, gripping his ass again. He gives it a final squeeze, and his cock a final suck, and moves his head back just as Louis comes all over the sheets. He moans out as he lets go and some gets on Liam's mouth, and he just smiles and licks his lips, coming back up to kiss Louis hard, Louis tasting himself on Liam's lips, and Louis can't slow his arms down from wrapping around Liam's back, roaming down to his ass as Liam straddles him. Louis slides his hand under the back of Liam's underwear and swirls his finger around Liam's hole as his other hand goes to rub his cock through his briefs because he needs to _feel_ Liam and can't understand why he's still in these goddamn underpants. Liam moans loudly against Louis mouth, and Louis slips his tongue inside Liam, both kissing and sucking wildly. 

And now Liam can't take it anymore and he lifts Louis up, his nails digging into his back as he flips him over and spreads his legs out. Liam hurries out of his boxers and Louis turns to look and, _Jesus, it's huge_ and Louis is suddenly itching to have that inside of him, and he thinks he could come again just at the thought. 

Liam bends over and kisses Louis' back, his hard cock pressed against Louis' hole and Louis clenches just a bit, and Liam trails the kisses down Louis' back, his hands gripping Louis' waist. Louis knows there will be marks all over his skin from this, but he finds himself caring less and less as Liam's mouth trails lightly down Louis' left cheek, nipping a little as he nears his hole.

Louis moans and shudders because, well, it tickles, and it feels so good and Liam keeps teasing him. Liam stops his mouth there and grips Louis' hips tighter before finishing the job, rimming Louis. Liam flicks his tongue around and around, in and out, sucking and blowing and kissing and Louis moans a string of obscenities. He's getting hard again and wishes Liam would just fuck him already but also wishes he would keep doing whatever it is he is doing because his tongue makes him feel like he's on fire. Liam spits a little, making sure Louis is nice and wet, rubbing it around with his fingers as he pecks at Louis' ass. He gives a final kiss before pausing, pressing himself up against Louis and then he's sliding his cock in. Louis winces and arches his back and Liam stops for a second to ask "you okay? I can stop if you want," because of course he cares and all Louis can think is what is there to stop because he hasn't done anything yet and Louis' slightly embarrassed, but it's _big_ , so instead he just shakes his head and almost pleads, "no, no, keep going," and Liam smiles and kisses his back again and then he pushes down deeper and Louis moans when he hits his prostate. Liam goes slow at first, letting Louis adjust around him, and Louis finds himself ignoring the slight pain and moving his hips up to meet Liam's halfway. Liam gradually starts pumping faster and harder, his grip on Louis' hips so tight Louis is starting to lose feeling there. 

"Fuck," they breathe out at the same time and they smile at the connection, and Liam leans down and kisses Louis' back again before slamming back into him. Louis' ass slaps against Liam's testicles each time and Louis has never felt this undone before and all he wants is to keep feeling it, over and over again, with Liam.

"Oh, shit," Liam curses, slowing down. Louis knows he's close, and so is he. Liam pulls out - too soon for Louis - and flips Louis over on his back, guiding Louis' hand to his cock, and he grips Louis'. Louis pulls and pumps his hand over Liam, rounding his tip with his thumb as Liam pumps his around Louis. Liam comes in spurts all over Louis chest, sinking down with the energy but he doesn't stop pleasuring Louis, not until he comes as well, which doesn't take long.

They both breathe heavily, Liam's chest rising and falling rapidly as he falls onto Louis, resting his head in the crook of his neck. And Louis' pace quickens more because Liam's head is curled up in his neck, and Louis can stroke Liam's hair all he wants, and Liam chose to be with Louis, and Liam drapes his arm around Louis, and Liam kisses Louis' collarbone softly and, good fucking Lord, Louis is gone.

Their chests begin to move in a rhythm, and Louis keeps one hand on Liam's buzzed hair and the other lazily laying across his back, feeling all too content for his own good. Liam starts to hum against his chest and Louis lies there still coming down from his euphoria, that he don't think will ever end because he is with Liam, and that's the best gift he could receive, despite all his fears from earlier.

Liam pushes himself off of Louis and Louis fights a whimper because he was just getting settled with Liam's warm body encompassing him. Louis watches as Liam stands and walks away, his eyes focused on the way his back muscles move when he walks, when he bends over to pick up his briefs and put them back on, the way the waist snaps against Liam's skin, the thin and tight fabric just around his bottom. Liam scuffles to the other side of the bed and Louis just doesn't have the energy to turn his head and see what he's doing. He comes back around with Louis' boxers in hand and gently grabs Louis' left ankle, sliding a leg through, and then he does the same with the right before softly pulling them up Louis' thighs and Louis lifts his hips so Liam can finish putting them on him and then Liam keeps his hands on Louis' waist, his fingers grazing over the bruises already starting to form and he frowns.

"It's okay," Louis says to Liam, reaching down and grabbing one of his hands, smiling softly. 

Liam smiles and nods, and kisses up Louis' chest, ending at his lips and Louis opens his mouth to let Liam slide his tongue in, wrapping his hands around Liam's back. Liam crawls onto the bed as he kisses Louis tenderly but with vigor and leads him so they are both lying with their heads on the pillows. Liam trails his mouth back down to Louis' neck and plants a final kiss on his collarbone before he nuzzles his head in Louis' chest, wrapping an arm around his waist. 

"Goodnight," Liam whispers against Louis' skin, his hot breath tickling him.

"Goodnight," Louis responds, curling into Liam and wrapping an arm around his waist as well, grateful he can hide his face in Liam's thick frame so Liam can't see the smile plastered on Louis' face. He breathes deeply and lets himself fall asleep with Liam, letting himself be surrounded by this great thing he doesn't deserve, because happiness is the most selfish desire one can have, and he honestly hopes Liam is as happy as can be right now.

•••

When Louis wakes up, he's alone, and every instinct in him tells him _oh shit it was just a dream_ but then he realizes it was all too _real_ and of course it wasn't a dream and this unbelievably big hole starts to tear apart his chest because if he can't have Liam stay until even the next morning then what's the point of him ever trying to find someone, ever being with someone again, but then the smell of coffee and pancakes wafts over his nose and he breathes it in deeply, smiling as the hole in his chest disappears. 

He grabs a pair of sweats and a clean shirt, pulling them on before he walks out into his apartment. 

"Good morning," Liam chimes from over the counter, wearing the gag gift apron Harry got Louis, a farmer's tanned, overweight, hairy guy donning the front, and of course Liam still looks great in it. Louis walks up to him and Liam leans down and kisses Louis softly, orange juice on his lips. "I hope you don't mind, I thought I could make us some breakfast, since you told me you don't cook too often," he smiles.

"Yeah, that sounds great." Louis grins at Liam.

Liam turns around and he isn't wearing any pants, just those goddamn briefs with the apron string tied around them. Louis fights the urge to come up behind Liam and squeeze his butt, and it's good that Liam turns around almost immediately after the thought crosses his mind, a mug of hot coffee in his hand. "I know you prefer tea, but you were out," Liam hands the mug to Louis.

"Yeah," Louis wraps his hand around the mug. "I've been meaning to get more of that," he frowns a little and bites his lip. The last time Harry was here he drank all the tea while Louis was in the shower and needless to say, Louis was pissed, and he still hasn't been reimbursed. "Oh," Louis remembers, walking past Liam to the cupboards. "I do have vanilla creamer." He hands it to Liam, happy he remembers one more thing from their short time together.

"Oh, fantastic," Liam smiles. "Thank you." He sets it down next to his mug and continues to work on flipping the pancakes.

Louis leans against the other counter, watching Liam work as he prepares breakfast, putting pancakes onto plates like this is his home, and Louis finds himself not caring, and hoping Liam finds himself really comfortable here so he'll keep coming by, and then Louis thinks about what kind of person he is if he's just gonna stand here and let Liam cook him breakfast in his own apartment because of course he doesn't cook so he's never prepared to do something nice for someone the morning after, and Liam's too nice to not have a whole buffet served to him in bed. Louis offers to help but Liam turns him down and just tells him to go sit on the couch and wait for the pancakes. So what can Louis do besides comply, and go over to the couch feeling a little lost in his own home because he's not doing something by himself for once, and turn on the T.V. to an episode of Friends, another thing he remembers Liam likes. Louis remembers watching Liam's face light up with such childlike animation as he talked about his favorite episode, and honestly Louis wasn't listening, just watching him, paying no mind to the people bustling around them in the mall food court. They went to the mall after they walked to Panera for lunch, and just roamed and window shopped until they stopped to share a pretzel, staying at their table four hours after the pretzel was finished. They talked entirely too long, but it was a pleasant and fulfilling kind of long, the kind that made Louis' heart swell because he got to _talk_ to Liam, and Liam _listened_ and shared back and it was perfect, it was better than talking to Harry. And then they started to play with each other's fingers across the table, or with each other's feet underneath, or hands slightly brushing thighs and that feeling was growing bigger in Louis' stomach, and it was knotting up and he wanted nothing more than to kiss Liam. And when Liam walked him back to his apartment he finally kissed him, and Louis was too in shock to realize that Liam was kissing him back, hard, right on the front steps. And Louis couldn't even get the words out, just stuttered and gestured his hands back towards the building, hoping Liam would understand, and he did, and they broke apart and rushed inside, reconnecting as soon as the elevator doors closed. They stumbled back to Louis' door all the way at the end of the seventh floor hall, and Louis couldn't believe all of that was happening, and couldn't believe Liam was pushing Louis up against the door because that meant he wanted it too and Louis really couldn't believe that. And Louis still can't believe it the next morning, sitting here on his couch as Liam's favorite show plays on the background as he serves him pancakes on his dingy coffee table, seeming just as content as Louis is.

•••

It starts gnawing at Louis the second Liam's lips leave his and the door is shut between them. It's this inevitable thing, because Louis just _has_ to keep his distance, because he cares too much for Liam to put him through everything that is bound to come from being with Louis, he just knows it will all blow up some day, if not sooner, because Louis just isn't enough, not for anyone, and especially not for Liam. But Louis desperately wants to stay with him, wants to be able to hold Liam whenever he wants, kiss Liam whenever he wants, just be with Liam whenever he wants; and despite all his fears and these foreign and strong feelings that Louis has no idea what to do with - how do you manage something as powerful as want? - he still wants to be with Liam. Liam is... everything, and Louis is nothing, and he just needs a little bit of their something to get by.

And of course half the panging in Louis' chest is because, even though all he did was step into the hallway, Louis misses Liam already. He's never felt such bliss and peace from just a little over two days with someone, he's never felt so at home before. Liam makes Louis smile at stuff that aren't his own jokes, he makes Louis _happy_ , he makes Louis feel like something inside of him is brewing that is just destined to be great because Liam is in his life. And, fuck, does Louis wanna keep Liam around, he wants anything but letting Liam go, letting him be greater with someone else, but he knows it's right. And boy does Louis wish he was wrong.

Also, he just knows Harry will pester him about everything that happened between them, and won't wipe that stupid smirk off his face because one of his setups actually worked - except for the fact that it's not going to work out. If Louis tells himself that over and over maybe he'll actually build up the courage to go through with it.

Liam only left to go to back to his place, because he does have work in the morning and all his clothes are there and it would just be easier if he was home for the night to get ready; Louis checked. But they're set to meet tomorrow once they're both off work, Liam's going to make dinner for Louis, he wouldn't say what, just told Louis it was a surprise, and Louis' kind of scared that it will be too great, because it's Liam, of course it will be, and how is he ever supposed to do something nice for Liam when it will look like a flop next to this? 

So Louis plops back on his couch and sighs, wallowing. And as if on cue, Harry bursts in the door with Niall closely behind, both of whom are smirking widely at Louis and that just makes Louis' stomach knot up again.

Harry practically sits on top of Louis as Niall goes ahead and fixes up the T.V. to play Fifa. "So Liam called me," Harry says, with a pointed "I-told-you-so" tone. And it's only now that Louis realizes oh, he has been sulking in his thoughts for a few hours, and it is now past dinner time and all he has done is gone back and forth in his mind about what to do, because what can he do, he's never felt this before, he has no idea how to process any of this, all he really knows is how Liam's arms feel wrapped around him, how his lips feel on his, and that's all he really cares about. But all of this is too jumbled inside him, and he could break down and cry right now, or throw up, because being with someone shouldn't be so stressful.

"Dude, you okay?" Niall asks Louis, standing up, and maybe Louis really does look like he's about to cry, or whatever it is, and for some reason, this pushes him over the edge and he sinks down, sighing and shuddering, and holds his head in his hands.

"Lou?" Harry asks, putting a hand on his back, thoroughly confused because his behavior doesn't match up with Liam's phone call, and why should it, this doesn't even make sense to Louis, and Harry was so sure this was it, and Liam seemed pleased beyond belief, but Harry will gladly help Louis over Liam, because Louis has been his best friend for seven years, and no new guy, no matter how perfect for him, will change that. 

"Oh, it's all fucked up!" Louis exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air, leaning back into the cushions. Niall sits next to him, trying to figure out what's wrong and how this Fifa night turned sour. 

"What is?" Harry asks. "What's wrong? Was it Liam? Did it not go well? I'm sorry, Louis, I should've listened to you, I shouldn't have pushed you to go on another date -"

"No, no, you didn't do anything wrong," Louis interrupts because Harry can't go thinking his fault when all he was trying to do was help. He sniffles. "Liam didn't do anything wrong. He was great...perfect, actually. It's me." 

"How could it be you, Louis? You're a great catch. Anyone would be lucky to have ya!" Niall offers up.

Louis scoffs. "Oh, bull, no I'm not. You both know it, don't try to say otherwise. I'm a big fuck up. I can't even keep a guy past three dates!"

"But that's your choice," Harry points out.

"No, it isn't. Who would voluntarily do that? Please tell me, Harry! I only set that stupid rule because everyone else seems to have a problem with _me_ by the third date. I guess I'm just so fucking unappealing, I'm not worth any relationship." Louis looks down, his chest rising and falling, with what emotion, he doesn't exactly know, but he doesn't like it. 

"Louis," Harry starts, putting a hand on his back again, but Louis just shoves him off. "Look, you can't think like that. Just because those people don't want to see you for who you really are, which I think is a pretty fucking great person, doesn't mean you're not worth anything. They're not worth your time if they don't wanna be with you. It's not you. I mean, look at us, we've been friends for a long time and I haven't got rid of you yet," Harry tries and Louis smiles, "you just haven't found the right person yet. But I know you will. And you deserve someone half as great as you are."

"Yeah?" Louis asks, for confirmation, just to make sure that was all real, that all was true, Harry really meant all of that.

"Yes. I mean it," Harry says because he knows what Louis' thinking, and he doesn't like when he thinks like that. 

They're quiet after that and Louis pats Harry on the thigh as a thank you, because that's all he can really manage right now. 

There's a sniffle, but it's not from Louis, it's from Niall. "Oh, you fucking sap, Harry." He gets up and wipes his eyes. "Louis," he says and Louis looks up, "what he said," Niall finishes before walking into the bathroom to compose himself because he can't deal with all this emotion.

Harry and Louis chuckle a little at their friend and Louis takes the time he's gone to ask Harry a question. "Why did you think Liam would be so good for me?" 

Harry's a little startled, because it's just so clear and unexplainably obvious to him he can't believe Louis even asked. "Well, I... I just did. Louis, I know you. I've seen all these dates, and I can't tell you how badly I wanted to slap you and ask what the fuck you were doing because they were all just so _wrong_ and you didn't seem to notice and I was just trying to let you figure it out for yourself but you never did and that's why I tried with those other set ups so it would be a change for you and you would realize. But then when Liam said he was looking for somebody... fuck, I couldn't pass that up. But I didn't want it to be some wake up call for you, well I did but not like all the others, I just wanted you to realize what you need and who you are, Louis. You've been so lost and I wanted to help," Harry finishes and Louis blinks, unable to respond, because wow, he really didn't see any of that. "Sorry if I overstepped or anything, I just want you to be happy," Harry adds, looking even more pitiful than Louis feels and Louis throws his arms around him and hugs him tight, because he is such a good friend and Louis was such crap to him and he is absolutely right about everything.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. Thank you," Louis says to Harry, letting go of him before Harry even has time to react. "God, I'm such shit." Louis rubs his nose with two fingers.

"No, you're not. You were just confused," Harry says and Louis shakes his head.

"No, not that. Look, I really appreciate you setting me up with Liam, really, I do, it's just... It's not gonna work."

"What? Why? You just said -"

"I'm just no good for him. He won't be happy with me. He deserves someone better." Louis looks down at his lap. Just because Harry helped him realize everything that was wrong with him thinking everything was wrong with him doesn't mean he's changed his mind about Liam, it just made him want this more because Liam shouldn't have to deal with someone who is so unsure of themselves. Liam needs better.

"Lou," Harry sighs. "That's just not up to you. It's his call." He stands up. "And I think I know which one he's going to make." He walks into the kitchen just as Niall comes out of the bathroom. 

"Alright, boys, it's Fifa time!" He plops down on the couch next to Louis.

•••

He doesn't know how he did it, but Louis managed to avoid Liam for a whole week after the night he made Louis dinner, and the morning after. He was actually getting adjusted to it, even past the day when he found Liam's briefs in his sheets and gulped at the fact that Liam was fully aware he was going commando when he kissed Louis goodbye that day and he knows Liam left them there on purpose. He moved past it and even moved past biting his knuckles every time Liam called to stop himself from answering, not that that made it any easier.

He couldn't avoid it, however, when Liam shows up to his front door unannounced, and Louis almost topples over the door once he sees who's behind it. 

"Come on, grab a jacket. Let's go," Liam says, without even a hello or any indication that he's upset with Louis for ignoring his calls.

"Um, I, uh... what... what are you doing here?" Louis finally manages, thoroughly confused.

"Well," Liam slips past Louis into his apartment, pecking Louis on the cheek as he does so. He turns back to face Louis as he closes the door. "I believe we had another date we never got around to, and I'd like to have that date, right now." He smiles so sweetly Louis feels even worse for avoiding him, but it had to be done, but with the way Liam's lips look right now, he can't remember why.

Louis rubs the back of his neck. "But...uh, why, I mean -"

Liam steps closer and puts either hands on Louis' shoulders. "My friend is a comic book artist and he's having a showing tonight and he invited me, and I'm inviting you."

Louis looks away. Of fucking course Liam has to remember more things about him and just come back around and offer up this great thing Louis can't turn down because he's too curious and missed Liam too much. "I, uh..."

"You'll go get dressed and meet me back here in five?" Liam says hopefully, not taking his eyes off of Louis.

And Louis can't stop staring at Liam's chocolate brown eyes either and finds himself sighing and nodding and giving in to Liam like they both knew he would and he goes to his room to get dressed.

Louis knows this is all fucked, but he finds himself not caring, again. Liam fucking came to his apartment, either he can't take a hint, or he really _likes_ Louis, and it's the latter one that's the problem. Louis' thrilled Liam's here, but he cannot stop worrying about how this is all gonna blow up. He feels a little better after his talk with Harry, but he can't shake this feeling. He wants to get better, and he feels Liam is the way to do that, but he doesn't want Liam to take all the hits and shrapnel throughout the process, but he doesn't want to not hug him and kiss him and fuck him all the time, and he thought the best way to let these feelings go away was to avoid Liam and forget about him, but Louis is just so empty without him it only made it worse.

He's dressed in five minutes, deciding to just enjoy this night with Liam because that's really all his heart wants and trying not to will just ruin the whole evening for both of them.

"Ready?" Liam smiles when he comes out of his room. 

Louis swallows. "Yeah."

They leave the complex and the silence isn't broken until they're deep in the city.

"So, what have you been thinking about?" Liam asks out of the blue.

"What? Thinking? You know that's not my thing," Louis tries to be himself, but the fact that his self is the worst thing for Liam is starting to creep its way into his brain and Louis stares ahead while Liam laughs so hopefully the feeling will slither away.

"I meant, what've you been up to? I haven't heard from you in a whole week, and you've got this look on your face, like you're gonna throw up any second."

Louis' cheeks flush, and he swallows again, and he realizes that does make it seem like he's gonna throw up, which he just might. "Oh, nothing. Just stressed is all."

"Well, we can't have that, can we?" Liam smiles again and slinks his arm around Louis' waist, skittering his fingers lightly across his back, massaging gently when he gets up to his shoulders. Louis could melt. "This is a fun night, no stress allowed." He tickles by Louis' armpit and Louis actually giggles. He flinches away and he fucking _giggles_. Liam can't help but to smile at the boy in his arm, and that he's finally smiling for once this whole night.

"That tickled," Louis says like it wasn't obvious, and he playfully shoves Liam away, but not with enough force for him to actually go anywhere because Louis is really enjoying the way his hand feels just over his left shoulder blade, and Liam squeezes his back a little to hold on and Louis almost topples to the side, but Liam uses his other hand on his waist and he stays put, Liam's strong and warm hand pressed against his stomach, and he finds himself leaning into it. Until Liam squeezes and tickles him again and he jumps away, laughing like an idiot.

"Liam!" He tries to walk a little faster down the sidewalk, to avoid more tickles, but he can't bring himself to get farther than two steps ahead of Liam, and Liam catches up in one long stride, grabbing his waist on either side, tickling him in the middle of the street. 

Louis tries to wriggle free but he's laughing too hard and enjoying it far too much, and finds himself almost disappointed when Liam stops to wrap his arms around his torso, leaning his head on his shoulder. He strokes Louis' stomach under his shirt and blows into his ear a little, and Louis could fucking collapse if it wasn't for Liam's frame behind him, and he sees people staring at them as they walk by, but he really doesn't care. 

"Oh, I love this little tummy," Liam whispers into Louis' ear, squeezing his sides again. He nips under his ear and slides his hands out from underneath his shirt. Louis is a little lost because he's usually able to return the kiss and with Liam he actually wants to, but Liam has proven to be the type to have the last word, especially when it comes to making Louis feel like jello. And he barely registers when Liam slips his hand into Louis' and begins pulling him back to the sidewalk. Liam just laughs at Louis' dazed look, enjoying what he's done to Louis, because it's so nice to see someone that affected by him. 

"C'mon, Louis," he tugs at his arm and Louis smiles sheepishly and falls into step with him and Liam swings their arms and Louis really can't hate the way this is so chick flick cliche because Liam is swinging his arm, Liam is holding his hand, Liam is taking him someplace to share something that Louis loves with him, and Liam is here. "It's over here," Liam points with his other hand to a small studio on the block, that's all lit up with bright lights. People are streaming in and out, some standing outside with drinks and cigarettes, chatting with someone who probably deserves their time, and Louis gulps because of course his head has to fuck up this moment when his heart is so happy.

Liam takes him inside, and doesn't let go of his hand even when he greets and hugs people Louis doesn't know, and holds on until he finds his friend, and it's Louis that drops his hand first, but Liam doesn't seem to notice.

 _Shit_.

"Zayn!" Liam grins, holding his arms out to hug his friend. 

"Hey! Glad you made it," Zayn smiles as he hugs Liam.

Louis finds his feet moving himself backwards as this whole scene unfolds, because of fucking course it's the one person who Louis really screwed over, seriously screwed over, the only obvious hit it and quit it of his life, among other things, something he feels awful about, because he was just so terrible to him and this is exactly why Liam shouldn't be with him, because he's a shit person. And now Zayn can tell Liam all about what Louis did, and maybe Liam will believe him, and never speak to Louis again, and Louis will get what he wanted for Liam, but not in the way he wanted, because he wants to tell Liam, or wants him to figure it out for himself, not from his more-than-pissed friend. 

Again, _shit_.

"...and this is Louis," he hears Liam say, gesturing his arms back to him. He beckons him forward and Louis can't help but to comply, but regrets it once he sees the stone look on Zayn's face.

"Louis," he says, his jaw set.

Louis shrinks into Liam. "H-hi."

Liam looks between the two of them, confusion on his face, until the realization sinks in and Liam nods, and Louis feels absolutely fucked because of course Liam already knows who he is, what he is, and he deserves it. "So you are that Louis," Liam says as if he's confirming something he was already thinking about.

"Of course it's the same fucking Louis," Zayn spits before Louis can say anything. "I told you that, but you didn't listen to me. And you brought him to _my_ showing." He glares at Louis.

"Zayn, calm down," Liam tries to mediate, tightening his arm around Louis and Louis is really confused as to why the fuck he would do this when he should be punching the shit out of him for doing what he did to his best friend.

Zayn goes livid. "Calm down? How can you expect me -"

"I'm sorry!" Louis blurts out. It's all he can think to say. His brain is fuzzy and he wants desperately to fix this all up. "I really am, so sorry. I've felt bad about ever since."

"Have you really?" Zayn crosses his arms. "Then why haven't you fucking bothered to call? Or come over? You piece of shit."

"Woah, hey!" Liam says, defending Louis. 

"It's okay," Louis says, looking at him. "I deserve it. I am a piece of shit." Liam opens his mouth to speak, his eyes already turning into a puddle of pity for how Louis thinks of himself, but Louis speaks first, turning to Zayn. "And I'm a huge coward douchebag. By the time I finally mustered up the courage to call you, you had changed your number. And that's no excuse, I'm a terrible person, and I'm really sorry I neglected you like that, and just fucking screwed you over. And your girlfriend. And I feel even worse I don't remember her name. I'm really sorry, and I don't expect you to forgive me." Louis looks down at the floor because he can barely stand himself for what he did, he knows he would be absolutely broken if someone did that to him, especially with Liam.

"Can you excuse us for a second, Liam?" Zayn says, his voice calmer than Louis thinks it should be, which worries him because a storm could be waiting for him as soon as Liam's out of earshot.

"Uh, yeah sure, I'll be over there." He slides his arm off of Louis' waist, squeezing his elbow and pecking him on the cheek, and Louis can see that Liam's trying to ask if he's okay with his eyes, and Louis nods and smiles softly, all the while trying to figure out why Liam hasn't dropped him yet. Liam walks over to a corner where one piece of artwork hangs on the wall, and pretends to stare at it.

Louis gulps and looks back towards Zayn, who takes a step closer to him. "I'm still really fucking mad at you. And you're right, you are a douchebag, and a coward, and I _really_ can't believe I'm not beating the shit out of you right now," he says and Louis glances down at his clenched fists, preparing for a strike. "And the only reason I'm not is because of that fucking teddy bear you're dating," he says, and his fists slacken. Louis looks up. "He fucking talked about you with this dumbass grin on his face for the whole damn week, and I hate that I can see how happy you make him, seeing as you make me so fucking angry." Louis flinches, because again, he's sorry, so sorry for what he did. Zayn takes a step closer, pointing a finger at him, stabbing his chest with it. "If you ever hurt him, or make that stupid look on his face go away, I swear to God I will beat your ass like I should've when I had the chance. I know he'll still want to be with you if you fuck this up, so _don't_. He's too damn good for you."

"I know," Louis' voice catches. "Believe me." He looks up at Zayn, who's taken by surprise. "I don't want to hurt him, at all. Which is why I know I should end this, but I just... can't."

Zayn's eyes soften. "Look, just... just don't end it. You'll probably hurt him more than you'll save him." He looks back at Liam. 

"I find that hard to believe," Louis' voice is barely above a whisper. "I mean, you said it yourself, right? I'm a piece of shit. I don't deserve him."

Zayn claps him on the shoulder, and Louis looks up, surprised, and sees Zayn struggling with the impulse to punch him now that he has his hands on him. "You're right, you are. But I think, I think I can forgive you for it." He smiles at Louis and Louis smiles back. "And everybody deserves a little something good, it just so happens that Liam is a lot of good, so make sure you make the best of what you have, because you have him for a reason."

Louis can't find the words to speak, because he's honestly too shocked at the turn of this encounter with Zayn to say anything. "Sorry," he manages, again.

Zayn almost rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I got that by now. Just... be good to him. I can tell you're really trying. And there's obviously something about you that makes him crazy, so keep it up." Louis smiles again. "And you're lucky my girlfriend forgave me. And that I found someone new." He points to a dark haired guy almost as attractive as him talking animatedly with a group of people, a glass of wine in his hand. 

"He seems nice," Louis offers, mind still reeling from this whole exchange.

"Yeah. He is." Zayn smiles in a way that makes Louis' own heart flutter and reminds him of Liam. He turns to look at him and sees him already staring back, smiling warmly at him.

"He's pretty great, too, huh?" Louis hears and turns back to Zayn, who was watching him watch Liam. 

Louis smiles. "Yeah. Definitely."

"Keep him close," Zayn says, smirking a little at Louis and walks away, off to his boyfriend.

Louis' not by himself for even a second before Liam is already sliding his arm back around his waist. He kisses his ear. "Everything alright?" Liam asks against his cheek.

Louis nods. "Yeah. It's great." He turns his face and his lips meet Liam's, some new type of confidence burning in him, especially when Liam smiles against his mouth, and Louis smiles back, and they stand in the middle of the studio with their forehead's touching, smiling for no reason.

•••

This time, they end at Liam's place. It goes pretty much the same as the first time, but with lots more foreplay. They make out in just their boxers, with Liam between Louis' legs, for what seems the longest time, but honestly, Louis doesn't mind that's all they've done. He likes _being_ with Liam, here in this moment, despite the back of his mind reminding him of everything that's wrong with this continuing, but then Liam kisses him harder and the thoughts slip out of his head. 

And God, Liam is such a tease. Every so often he'll run his hand along Louis' erection, or just along the tip, grazing enough to make him twitch and almost writhe, and Louis has resisted the urge to wrap his legs around Liam's waist and fist some of his hair and press himself up against him. That is until Liam keeps continuously teasing Louis, running his hand through his hair and the other one stroking his dick light as a feather, and Louis practically pushes Liam down on his back, laying on top of him and reconnecting their lips, one-upping him and giving him a straight hand job through his boxers. Liam smirks, obviously have gotten what he wanted, but Louis doesn't care, he just keeps pumping. Liam breaks free from the kiss, ripping off both of their boxers, (Louis thanking God Liam didn't wear briefs again) and lays on his side, so Louis can still continue the job, and he wraps his mouth around Louis' dick almost immediately. Liam hears Louis' breath shallowing as he nears his climax, and Liam has to fight the urge to let his go as well, and separates himself from Louis, turning him over before he can even register the loss of contact, and sticks a finger inside him, twisting and turning and grazing and teasing as Louis moans underneath him. Liam almost growls and leans down to kiss Louis' neck and shoulders, his finger still circling around inside Louis' hole, and Louis shudders. He blows and spits on the finger on his other hand, using it to lubricate while his finger still pumps inside Louis. He presses wet kisses and dips his tongue in every so often and Louis' hips buck back and Liam bites at him and Louis feels like he's burning and freezing at the same time and he doesn’t see anything wrong with that.

Liam stops it all simultaneously, flattens his tongue against Louis' hole, running it up before he's pulling away and then his dick inside Louis, thrusting slow and teasing again, then faster and harder, then slow and steady, then sloppy and passionate, continuing that stretch of the cycle, not being able to stop himself because Louis just feels so fucking _good_. He knows he's about to come, especially if Louis keeps wiggling like that under him, and he's surprised and pleased Louis hasn't come yet. He slows his thrusts down, and he thinks he hears Louis whimper, so he leans down and kisses his back and shoulders and neck again, blowing in his ear. He kisses just behind it as he pulls out, gripping Louis' waist and pulling him back on top of him, his thighs straddling his Liam's neck as he lays down on the bed. Louis catches on quickly and grips Liam's erection with his hand, pumping and swirling his thumb around the tip, enjoying Liam flick around _under_ him. Liam's mouth is on Louis' hole again and Louis wraps his lips around Liam's penis, this time swirling with his tongue and hollowing his cheeks. Liam blows and sucks and kisses, and they both moan as they reach their highs together, Liam coming in Louis' mouth, and Louis all over his and Liam's chests. Louis collapses on Liam's thigh, swallowing, and he's really surprised because he's usually making the other swallow. Liam strokes Louis' back and waistline, tickling his skin again and Louis doesn't have the energy to laugh, so he just smiles contentedly, kissing Liam's thigh lightly. 

Liam eventually turns himself around under Louis, laying so their noses are touching, smiling fondly at each other. They regulate their breathing together, until their breaths are even, and Louis rests his head on Liam's chest, and Liam strokes Louis' hair this time. 

They stay like that for a while, until Louis looks at Liam, and Liam leans in and kisses him sweetly and softly, Louis relishing the feeling far too much. 

"Are you hungry?" Liam asks when they break apart.

Louis shakes his head. "I'm fine."

"Okay, well I'm gonna get a snack, you can find something for us to watch," he smiles and points to the T.V. behind Liam. 

He nods. "Okay." He kisses Liam once more, just because he can, and he's liking and accepting that much easier than he has been, and climbs off, reaching for his boxers as Liam reaches for his. He's hit in the back with something soft.

"Sorry. You can wear those if you want," Liam says about the sweatpants he just threw, a shade of grey different than the one he's sliding up his own legs, his V-line protruding from the waistline.

"Yeah, thanks." Louis takes them and Liam goes into the kitchen to do whatever it is he's doing. He climbs into Liam's bed, and it's so soft, just another reason Louis never wants to leave. Here in Liam's apartment, or his, when they're just by themselves, Louis is good, he's better. It's the outside world that shows those terrible parts of Louis that he can't get away from, he just wants to be this great guy with Liam, laying in each other's beds, curling up together to late night T.V. 

Louis turns the T.V. on and flips to Friends for Liam, sinking down in the sheets just as he walks back in the room with a sandwich on a plate.

"What're you doing?" he laughs a little at Louis, who's covered from his eyes down.

"I'm cold," he states simply, despite the childish and whiny tone to his voice.

"I'll keep you warm," Liam offers with a smile, setting his plate down on the bedside table, climbing in the bed next to Louis. He opens his arms for Louis but Louis jumps up on him and tackles him down, feeling extra playful. 

Louis splays himself across Liam, elbowing him in the ribs, but Liam can't help but laugh. Louis spreads out like a star, sighing heavily. "Liam! Where'd you go? Hello!" Louis calls out, pretending Liam isn't in the room, and Liam can only smile, usually being annoyed with such immaturity, he finds it only pulling him in deeper, listening to Louis act like a total fool. He knows this is the Louis that sparked his interest on their first date, this, and absolutely nothing else, works for Louis, and it's doing its fair share of working on Liam, who can't stop grinning. "Liam? You can't possibly take that long! Liam!! What, are you jacking off to me in the bathroom or something?! Tap and tuck, let's go!! I- aah!" Liam grips Louis' sides and tickles him again, cutting him off from taking that any farther. He uses his force to push Louis off of him, flipping them over so now he's straddling Louis, tickling him because he's got too many jokes, and he really enjoys watching Louis writhe and wiggle under him, no matter the circumstances. So Liam is laughing harder than Louis when he finally stops tickling him, proud of finding a weak spot for Louis, both feeling just plain giddy.

When they settle down, Liam's expecting some type of snide and silly retaliation from Louis, but he just sighs and curls up in his side, reaching across him for the sandwich. He takes a bite before Liam can even register he's taken it.

"Mmm, this is good," Louis mumbles, turning it over in his hands, examining each layer.

Liam snatches it back. "I thought you said you weren't hungry."

Louis just shrugs and takes another bite while it's still in Liam's hand. Liam swats at Louis, and shoves him, much harder than he expected, and Louis rolls off the side of the bed. 

Liam's laughing too hard to speak, but all he's trying to do is see if Louis is okay, because that was a loud thud and he really didn't mean to do that. Louis sits up from the floor, a grumbly look on his face, his hair tousled way more than it already was, and he pouts at Liam and rubs the back of his head. He glares when Liam keeps laughing and Liam attempts multiple times to apologize, but it never happens. 

Louis grumbles and tries to pull himself up. "You know you're lucky my ass is like a cushion, or you'd have hell to pay," he threatens emptily and climbs on to the bed, staying far on his side, crossing his arms and pouting again at Liam, who still hasn't stopped laughing.

"Oh, come on," Liam breathes out, letting himself calm down, and reaches his arm across Louis and grabs him by the butt, squeezing as he pulls him closer, smiling at how Louis yelps. Louis tries to push him off but Liam wraps both arms around him, holding him tight, and Louis really doesn't want to push Liam off, and finds himself resisting less and less as Liam's smell engulfs him and his body heat warms him, and Louis stops all together eventually, resting his head on Liam's chest. He still pokes at him because he is still upset he got pushed off the bed, and what else is he supposed to do but poke him repeatedly when Liam has him wrapped around his finger? So he pouts again and jabs at him all over his torso, moving up his neck and finally just pokes his cheek continuously. 

Liam grabs his fingers with his hand, sighing, defeated, at this relentless Louis. "I'm sorry I pushed you off the bed." Louis turns his head the other way and Liam grabs at it, turning it back to face him. "Really." And Louis continues to pout just because he can, because obviously Liam didn't mean to push him off the bed, and of course he's sorry, and hell yeah, it was hilarious, and Louis is enjoying the close contact the two of them have right now, and suddenly Liam's leaning in, pressing his lips softly against Louis' jaw line, then his forehead, nose, chin, cheeks, and finally his lips, hard. Louis kisses him back, opening his mouth when Liam tugs at his bottom lip, and wraps his hands around Liam's neck the same time Liam slides his back around Louis. He kisses Liam for what seems like forever, both biting lips and Louis periodically sucks Liam's tongue, and Liam continues to press himself against Louis, kissing him with almost all he has. It's only when Louis' nails start to rake across Liam's back that they stop, because Liam pulls away, laying himself back next to a swollen lipped and dazed Louis, who curls back into him almost immediately, not caring Liam got what he wanted, because fuck he wanted it too.

"Alright, you're forgiven," Louis yawns into Liam's chest after a while, nuzzling his head some more. 

"Good," Liam smiles and kisses Louis' forehead, and they both share the sandwich and Louis traces his finger along Liam's chest and Liam traces his around Louis' back and they watch the T.V. and soon they fall asleep together with Friends still playing in the background.

•••

"So? How are things going?" Harry asks Louis as they take out the Chinese food they ordered.

"Um, fine?" Louis responds, wondering why Harry's suddenly exchanging pleasantries for no reason.

"No, with you and Liam," he clarifies and takes the egg rolls out. Niall comes over and takes the cartons to the coffee table, and Louis gets the plates from the cupboard.

"Yeah, how is that?" Niall calls from the couch, a bite of something already in his mouth.

Louis can't help it, he blushes. "Fine."

"Judging by your face, I'd say you're doing much more than fine," Harry smirks, nudging Louis before he walks over to the table, chopsticks and forks in hand.

It's been a few weeks since the night of Zayn's comic showing. Liam and Louis have been hanging out almost every day, when they can, which is basically when neither of them are working. Louis works at the only tattoo shop in the city, and he takes in more than he was expecting, but that's because they got five stars on yelp!, Liam told him one night while they were laying on his couch. Liam works as a teacher, 8th grade history, so his hours and pay are pretty simple, while Louis can work anywhere from noon to six or nine at night to one in the morning, so their plans together have to accommodate. Louis thinks it's great Liam's a teacher and that he's doing something meaningful with his life, and now that Liam has said that's what he does, Louis can't picture him doing anything else, it just fits him; it's admirable, and that starts to send Louis back into the spiral of self pity and destruction, nearing him to break it off again, but then Liam smiles at him or compliments him or gives him that _look_ , and he's back to wondering how he could ever willingly walk away from this. Which is the main reason for their constant togetherness, Louis is relishing this, he can't get enough of Liam, whether they're just laying on one another's couch, going out to eat, rambling about stuff that happened at work while they were apart, he doesn't want it to stop, not at all. He's been enjoying himself a lot more than he ever did, or thought he could, and he's happy, just plain happy with Liam, and he feels it reciprocated every time Liam looks at him, kisses him, teases him, smiles at him, and he just hopes it's all real, and it all lasts, but he hasn't been doing the latter much of late, he's been living in the moment with Liam, and having a hell of a lot of fun doing it, he hasn't had the time to think or worry about anything else.

Louis joins his friends at the coffee table, tempted to leave because their annual "guy's night" is the same night Liam finally doesn't have to grade a test or quiz or homework, and he doesn't want to answer any of their pesky questions about Liam, he just wants to be with him. "Yes, things are going great, are you happy now, Harold?" He sinks into the couch.

"Ha! I knew it. Didn't I tell you I knew it, Niall? I told you," Harry rambles proudly.

"He told me," Niall says, waving a fork around. 

Louis sighs and plants himself face first into the couch cushions, across Harry's lap. 

"What is it now?" Harry asks, far too familiar with Louis' constant back and forth; ever since the big reveal to them, Louis has been calling Harry almost every day to babble endlessly about Liam and all his fears and worries, just to be hung up on in the end when he got too repetitive.

"I hate you for doing this to me," Louis whines and pushes himself off Harry, slumping in the cushions again. "Why did you have to set me up with someone so amazing? You're friends with him, you know what he's like, why would you do this to me?" 

"I think you mean, why did I do this _for_ you," Harry says. "You're welcome, by the way."

"Man, you've got it bad," Niall adds in, a mouthful of pan-seared noodles. 

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Louis snaps back and picks up his own carton, shoving a forkful of beef teriyaki in his mouth. 

"So you really, really like him, then?" Harry asks and Louis nods, blushing far too much because Liam is just a guy, but he's not, he's so much more and Louis still doesn't understand how he's so affected, in such a short time.

"Well, I think that's great, Lou, you're supposed to feel things towards those you date," Harry says. 

"Yeah, not screw them and their girlfriends," Niall starts to laugh, and Louis could rip his head off if he wouldn't miss him afterwards.

"I said that wasn't going to happen again!" He barks. "It was a mistake and I know it was stupid, okay?!" He tosses his carton on the table, and some soy sauce spills out.

"Woah, sorry, I thought that was one of those things we could laugh about now?" Niall says, confused because he's never had a real relationship, he doesn't understand Louis' problems quite like Harry does, and he's a total sweetheart about it, but sometimes, Louis just wishes he would fall in love already to make it easier for him. 

"No, it will never be something we can laugh about. Ever. I don't even want to think about it, much less talk about it," Louis says, picking his nails, wishing Niall would understand the limitations to certain things, not that Louis did when he did that. 

"Hey, man, what's wrong?" Harry asks Louis, knowing there's something more now, because usually he's indifferent about it if it comes up in conversation, still feeling guilty but not enough to blow up to the point where he spills soy sauce.

Louis runs his hand over his face. "I saw him."

"Zayn?" Harry and Niall both say.

Louis nods. "Yeah, the other day. At his comic art showing. He's... he's friends with Liam, good friends actually. Liam took me there and... we talked." Louis exhales heavily, his stomach churning in a completely different way.

"You talked to him? Well what did he say? What happened?" Harry asks, turning to face Louis completely.

"Just, you know, that he hated me. And I don't blame him. I tried to apologize but I really only think he forgave me, or let me speak as long as I did, because of Liam," Louis looks between the two of them and his lap as he speaks. That encounter with Zayn has been eating at him more than it should, especially with the way it turned out in the end, but he just can't stop thinking about how terrible it really was, and how he didn't feel guiltier after doing it. 

"So, does Liam know?" Harry asks. 

Louis nods. "Yeah, he knew before he met me. He just didn't know it was me who did that. But..."

"But what?" Harry presses.

"He hasn't dumped me yet. He actually... almost defended me. And I have no idea why."

Harry nods, not having anything to say, how could he? He knows what Louis did was fucked up, and what could he say about Liam without freaking Louis out, because he would have to call it love, that's what it is, and Louis and love do not get along. 

"Wait," Niall says. "So you went out with Zayn, who's best friends with Liam, who's friends with Harry, who set you two up?" He sits back and laughs a little. "What a small world."

"It's a small world after all..." they all sing in unison, and laugh. 

"Well, the important thing is he didn't beat the shit out of you," Harry says after a while.

"Yeah, I'll say," Louis breathes. They settle in silence, well as much as they can with the T.V. on, and eat their food, Louis thinking about how their guys' night could easily be a girls' night if it weren't for the penises and video games.

•••

Louis wakes up next to Liam for the fourth time this week. Where they wake up changes though, sometimes it's in Louis' bed, sometimes it's in Liam's bed, sometimes it's on the floor of either one of their apartments because they were too antsy to make it to the bedroom. But after each time, they always stay up talking, whether it's about their jobs, families, some random thing Louis comments on which makes Liam laugh and smile a little deeper each time because he admires Louis' spontaneity and curiosity, or Liam asking him questions to get to know him better, because he wishes Louis wasn't so distant, and he knows he's getting in closer, and he's taking his time because he knows it'll be better to keep him like this than to let him go completely by scaring him off. 

And Louis thinks everything is great for once, he's not worried about anything, he's enjoying his time with Liam, really enjoying it. And surprised he's in it this long, strings attached, for more than a good fuck. He likes how he is with Liam, and he's going to be selfish one more time and stick around him, whether Liam likes him as much as he does or not, which Louis gets the feeling he does, but he can't begin to understand why that would be.

"Morning," Liam peels an eye open and looks over at Louis, who's been awake for a while, just swirling his finger around Liam's shoulder.

"Morning, sleepy head," Louis smiles at Liam and leans over to kiss him. "Sleep well?" 

"Yeah," Liam yawns and stretches, already sitting up. "You?" 

Louis nods. "I swear your bed gets softer each time I'm here." He climbs out.

"It's just this little thing called fabric softener. You should try it some time," Liam banters back, getting out as well.

"What? Do you not like my sheets?" Louis asks as they start to fix the bed back up.

"Let's just say it's like lying on your face," Liam says and Louis stops.

"My face?" he laughs. "Liam Payne, is that your attempt at a comeback?" he says incredulously, laughing again. "What the hell does that even mean?"

"You know, 'cause your face has scruff," Liam shrugs, finishing the bed himself, not looking at Louis.

"Are you saying my sheets are scratchy?"

"No..."

Louis crosses his arms and looks at Liam, his body heating up with anger. "Then what are you saying?"

Liam looks back at Louis. "I'm not saying anything, I just -"

"Clearly you are saying something," Louis interrupts, feeling irrationally defensive, way more than he should, but he can't help himself, it's building up, pouring over the top and Louis knows it has nothing to do with Liam. "I'm sorry my sheets don't live up to your standards! I'm sorry they're not soft enough for you. And I'm sorry my face isn't smooth enough for your preference. Why don't I just shave it off! Just for you, I'll keep my face nice and smooth. Is that how you like it? Here, I'll go do it right now." He rushes out of the room and into the bathroom, angrily grabbing the shaving cream and razor. He starts smearing the cream on his face recklessly.

"Louis!" Liam calls after him. "You're making too big a deal out of this!"

"No, I'm not! I have to keep you happy! God forbid, you frown once in a while, always got a goddamn smile on your face," he mutters and brings the razor to his face but Liam grabs his wrist and stops him.

"Stop it, Lou. You're being ridiculous." Louis knew it was true, but he glares anyways. Liam sets the razor down on the counter and grabs a towel. "What's the problem? I know it's not just your sheets."

Louis looks down and sighs. How could he possibly tell Liam he's too inadequate a boyfriend for him? "There's no problem," he says instead and lets Liam start to wipe the cream off his face. "I just... don't take criticism too well. I act like I do but I don't."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I honestly wasn't trying to hurt you," Liam says and Louis wants to groan because obviously and of course he wasn't and Louis just treated him like shit because he can't handle his _self_ criticism. Liam has wiped most of it off Louis' face now.

"And you don't smile too much," Louis says. "I love your smile."

"I know." Liam smirks a little and wipes the last off. "Kidding," he adds due to Louis' facial expression. He sets the towel down. "And I love your scruff. Really." He grabs Louis' face and kisses his nose, then his lips, and rubs his nose along Louis' face, kissing his jaw lightly. 

"Okay," Louis says, fucking giggling again when Liam starts to tickle his neck. He feels bad for being so rude, he knows he was terrible for no real reason, and he's glad Liam didn't act too much on it, and it was over before it even got to start.

Liam laughs a little and comes back up to kiss Louis' mouth again. "Oh," he says when he pulls away, sliding his arms around Louis' back. "How would you, like to accompany me, to my parent's place for dinner tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow?" Louis squeaks, too shocked to say anything else and Liam nods. Liam really wants to bring Louis to meet his parents? Does this mean they're a couple, officially? It has been almost two months since their half a first date, of course they are. Louis honestly lost track of time being with Liam it still feels like it's been a week. Louis looks up into Liam's warm and expecting brown eyes, seeing how much he wants Louis to say yes. So he does.

"Really? Are you sure? Because you don't have to if you don't want to. I could -"

Louis puts a hand over Liam's mouth. "Will you stop babbling, I said yes." He laughs a little and feels Liam smile against his hand. 

"Okay," Liam says, muffled. 

Louis leans up and kisses him. "Now get out I have to pee." He pushes Liam out of the bathroom, shutting the door in his face, hoping this dinner tomorrow goes well.

•••

"I'm having an absolute crisis," Louis says frantically instead of a hello as he yanks Harry in through the doorway. 

Louis rushes around his living room, before he realizes his bedroom door is on the opposite side and runs over there, disappearing out of sight. Harry hears a bump and "fucking christ" through the wall and almost laughs at Louis' state, if it wasn't so sad, and strange. "What's the problem? Do you need me to spot you some rent money again?" He reaches for his wallet.

"Harry, I swear to God if you try and give me anymore money ever again I will use it to choke you to death," Louis snipes without even coming out of his room. He's told Harry time and time again to stop trying to lend him cash, the one time was more than enough, and it was either that or live in a box. And Louis was too proud to ask even when he was practically living off the rice grains left in the back of his cabinets, Harry offered and insisted, and Louis was too desperate to even try and pretend he could say no. He feels bad enough he hasn't finished paying Harry back, and he can't possibly accept any more money from him, he needs to make it on his own, that's the whole point of moving out and living on his own. He doesn't need to feel any smaller than he already does. 

Harry's not insulted; he just laughs and walks into Louis' room. His earlier question is answered when he sees half of Louis' closet strewn about his room, Louis currently rummaging through hangers and tossing things aside. "Ohhh, you've got a date." Harry crosses his arms and smiles knowingly, enjoying Louis' flustering because this hasn't happened in years. "With Liam. Don't you?" He wiggles his eyebrows and Louis just glares at him.

"It's not just a date," Louis humphs and falls on the bed, laying back on a mound of his array of different colored jeans Harry hasn't seen since college. "It's a freaking dinner with Liam's parents. Jesus Christ," he grumbles and fists his hair, practically pulling it out of his head.

"That's great!" Harry says, going over to Louis. "He wants you to meet his parents, Lou. He _likes_ you," he adds for Louis' benefit because he knows he would spiral into a negative bundle of self-destruction as soon as he found something to wear, which he always does. "Come on, get up." This time he grabs Louis' arm and yanks him up off the bed. 

Louis slumps again, making Harry support all his weight. "How the hell am I supposed to meet his parents, Harry? What do I even say? How do I act?"

"Like yourself," Harry says, pushing Louis up straight. "Be yourself, Lou. If Liam likes you, then I'm sure his parents will. I've met them, they're not terrible, they even liked me."

"Yeah, but everyone likes you," Louis mumbles, trying to stop himself from shaking, or puking, or self combusting. Although that last one sounded like an excellent get-out-of-jail-free card. He sighs. "What the hell do I wear? I don't wanna come off as a total tool. I work at a tattoo parlor for Christ's sakes, my options are limited. The only suit I have is back at my mom's."

"Woah, who said anything about a suit? Louis, it's a dinner, not a wedding. If you wore that then you'd definitely freak them out." Harry walks over to Louis' closet, peering through what's left on the hangers. "Where are your khakis?"

Louis twists his face up. "Dear God, khakis? Do you even know me? No way in this God forsaken world would I ever put on _khakis_."

"Okay, I get it, sorry. What about your black pants?" 

"You have to be more specific, Harry, they're almost all black." He sits back on the bed and crosses his arms.

Harry comes over and sifts through the pile of pants. He holds up three pairs of black pants, the ones without any holes or stains or metallic sharpie doodles all over them. "How about these?" He indicates the ones on the far left.

Louis shakes his head. "Too tight, that's why I never wear them."

"Okay," Harry sets those down. "These?"

"No, no, no. Too tight in a different way."

"Different way? What other way is there?" 

"My ass looks too great in those, that's just rude and insulting to wear around people you're not trying to make jealous," Louis says like it's the most logical reasoning in the world. "No way could I wear that in front of Liam's parents, or Liam, really, there's no way he'd make it through dinner if I wore those."

"Really?" Harry asks, setting those pants down. "I didn't peg him as much of an ass man."

"Oh, he's not," Louis smirks proudly, his head higher than it was ten minutes ago. "Just mine. Which isn't that hard to believe."

"Whatever," Harry snorts and before Louis can say anything, he tosses the other pants at him. "You're wearing those, then, I don't wanna hear any excuses. It's either those or dark jeans, which you don't have any of."

Louis almost pouts. He takes the jeans in his hands. They're not his favorite pair, but they're nicer than all his others, and they're not terribly uncomfortable like that first pair. "Fine. Can I at least roll these at the ankle?"

"Why are you asking me? You know you're gonna do it anyways," Harry says, going back over to the closet. "Do you have a dress shirt? A button down or something?"

"No, I'm gonna wear a jacket, I think. I have a teal v-neck that I could wear." Louis gets up and sifts through the piles around his room until he finds it. "Here," he says the same time Harry grabs his jacket from the closet.

"Well, let's see then," Harry hands him the blazer and he starts to get dressed. He changes out of his frayed sweatpants and stained shirt and puts on what he hopes is good enough for Liam's - he gulps - _parents_. He still can't understand why Liam wants him to meet them, especially with all the stress he's being put under, which never would've had happened with any old flame, not that they'd make it to the point where they even discussed their families, just dinner and a fuck, really. Which is probably why he's sweating in every place possible even with his AC all the way up; he doesn't think he's ever been this nervous for anything that wasn't the opening night of a play, and even then he didn't sweat, his hands just got clammy.

"Perfect," Harry says as soon as Louis stands up straight from rolling his ankles.

He pushes the sleeves of his jacket up. "Yeah?" He looks down at himself, and then walks to the bathroom to use the mirror. And yeah, there's no doubt he looks amazing, that's a given, but he knows Liam will look even better. And he really didn't think that was possible, especially since Liam's is so... effortless.

Harry's standing in the doorway, arms outstretched and Louis' black Oxfords in hand.

Louis smiles and takes them, still amazed that Harry knows him so well. He can't believe they've been friends for seven years, managed to keep within the city even after they were handed their diplomas. "Thanks, Harry." It's all he can manage to say, but it doesn't sum up their years together, even this day, a thank you just isn't enough.

He flashes a smile and pulls him in for a hug, because he always knows what Louis means. "No problem."

Louis is calm for a bit, thinking hey, I can do this, and he feels better as he laces up his shoes and attempts to clean his room up, but then the doorbell rings, and oh, shit, it's time, and his hands get irrationally clammy, and Harry tries to calm him down, but he freaks out even more, so Harry tells him to splash some water on his face while he answers the door.

Louis lets the cool water run over his face and tries to steady his breathing, but he can hear Liam and Harry talking through the walls, and it hits him that this dinner is real, it's happening, and even though he's come to terms with it, he still can't believe it. He's never cared enough about someone this much, enough to freak out over a dinner with the parents, or enough to be invited to such a dinner. And Louis does care about Liam, so, so much, and this is something Liam wants, and Louis decides this will be something he will come through with for him, because he wants the chance to keep being there for him, however long that may last. So he dries his face and takes another breath, and then he hears, "Louis?" by his doorway and he knows it's him, knows it's time. He pops his head out and sees him standing there in just a white shirt and black jacket, with dark jeans, and white converse and Louis has never been more taken away by something as simple as this sight, and it's beautiful.

He grins at Liam. "Hi. Yeah, I'm ready." He turns off the light and walks towards him, pocketing his keys on the way. "Sorry about the wait."

Liam smiles back. "No, problem. You look great." He slides his hands around Louis' waist and pulls him in for a kiss and Louis could get lost in the taste of his lips or how incredibly soft they are if he wasn't aware that they're in the doorway and fuck, Harry is there.

He pulls back, he can feel Harry's smug smile burning his skin and the heat rises to his cheeks. He clears his throat. "Um, we should go then, yeah?"

Liam looks between him and Harry - who oh-so-casually pretended to be on his way to the couch - and then smiles down at him. "Yeah. Let's go." He puts a hand on Louis' shoulder and they head out the door.

"Have a nice night," Harry calls from the couch as Louis pulls Liam out of the apartment before he can respond.

•••

Liam rings the doorbell to his parents' house all too soon, and Louis wants to jump off the porch and puke in the bushes. But first impressions are already tough enough without him ruining his mother's roses.

Liam must've sensed Louis' nervousness, he held his hand the whole drive, and gives it a squeeze now as the door opens and Liam's mother is on the other side.

"Hi, Mom," Liam beams as he wraps her in a hug. 

"My baby boy," she smiles even bigger than Liam, which is a real feat, Louis thinks, and rocks them back and forth as they hug. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Mom," Liam says as they pull apart, and then Liam's father appears in the doorway and Louis wishes his foot would just slip off the stairs and he'd fall and could get out of this mess.

"Liam," his father says and opens his arms wide for his son. 

Liam goes to him and claps him on the back. "How ya been, Dad?" 

"Oh, good. Good."

"We'd be a lot better if you came around more often," Liam's mom tuts and swats him playfully with a dish towel.

"I know, I'm sorry I just haven't had the time," he says. "I'll make it up to you. Promise."   
"Alright, just as long as you visit your sisters, too. They miss you as well." 

"Yeah, I've been meaning to call them," Liam says, rubbing his chin, and then he looks at Louis and Louis knows the moment is coming, the spotlight is about to be on him, full force. For once he's not looking forward to it. _Breathe, Lou, breathe_ , he thinks to himself. 

"Oh, Mom, Dad, this is Louis. Louis, these are my parents." 

And now everyone's looking at him and he clears his throat.

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Payne, it's lovely to meet you," he sticks his hand out to shake but Liam's mother uses it to pull him inside the house.

"Come in, come in, it's too chilly to be standing on the porch like that," she coddles Louis, although he was actually comfortable outside. "You can call me Karen," she says patting Louis on the back and he nods as Liam's father sticks his hand out to shake.

"You can call me Geoff," he says and Louis nods, again, not knowing what quite to say.

"Oh!" Karen practically throws the dish towel. "The chicken!" She runs off to the kitchen.

"Do you want some help, Mom?" Liam asks (of course), already inching towards her.

"No, no, you two just be comfortable and wait in the living room," she calls. "Geoff, I could use your help, though."

Geoff sighs and walks off, leaving Liam and Louis in the hall. Liam tells him to take off his shoes by the door and offers to take his jacket to the closet. Louis looks around as he does so, taking in all the floral decorations and family photos all along the walls. They almost all have Liam in them, and his sisters, and Liam's no older than ten at the most in them. He's got chubby cheeks and a round head and the biggest smile each time, and Louis can't help but to giggle a little. And then he sees one that makes him full out burst into laughter.

"What? What's so funny?" Liam says, coming up behind him, his face whitening a little when he sees Louis' looking at the photos on the wall, and which one he's focused on right now. "Oh, God."

"It looks like you've got bad hair plugs," Louis manages to get out between laughs.

Liam tries to pull him away or block his view but Louis is still laughing. "I was six! It was a bad haircut, okay? I asked Mom to take it down so many times but she loves it too much."

"That's makes two of us," Louis chuckles. "This is by far my favorite photo of you. Right behind that one of you at your staff party last year." Louis had scrolled through Liam's Facebook a while two weeks ago, feeling like Christmas when he saw the picture of Liam drunk off his ass with a pair of plastic boobs strapped to his chest, his face contorted into the silliest expression Louis can't put a name to. Priceless.

"Shut up," Liam laughs a little, too, out of embarrassment for himself really, and pulls Louis away from the picture.

Louis starts to laugh in Liam's shoulder. "I'm gonna ask her for a copy of that to hang up in my room." He pulls back a little, looking up at Liam, a stupid grin on his face. "Even better! I could put in it the shop, and people would come in wanting a six year old you on their arms and asses. I for one, think that's a great idea."

"Louis, for the love of God," Liam groans, not removing his arms from his back, though.

Louis laughs more. "What? You don't want yourself permanently inked on someone else's butt? That would be great exposure for you, everyone would want to know who this kid is all over people's skin, and it would be you! You could go on Oprah! You could meet the president! The possibilities are endless, Liam, really. Just promise you'll remember us little people when you make it."

Liam just smiles back at Louis, and squeezes his side, pulling him in for a hug and a kiss to the forehead. "I promise," he says, humoring Louis because he's enjoying this side of him too much, enjoying how Louis actually is _little_ , fitting perfectly in his side, Liam resting his chin right by Louis' ear.

"Good. Don't you dare forget me when you're surrounded by limos and flashing lights and interviewers," Louis rests his head on Liam's chest, poking him with every other word.

"I could never forget you," Liam says so simply, because he really couldn't, not at all, and it's all Louis needs to hear to lift his head up and kiss him, full on the lips, just enough, for now.

"Dinner's ready!" Geoff calls from the kitchen and they break apart, laughing a little at how they never made it to the living room to wait. 

"Darn," Liam pouts. "I was gonna give you a tour of the house. Maybe take you up to my old room..." His eyes glint at Louis and he presses a small kiss below his ear. Louis closes his eyes at the contact but Liam pulls away before he can even respond. "And, if you need it, you have to use the bathroom upstairs, second door on the left, the downstairs one's been broken for years." 

"Okay," Louis nods, a little befuddled and hazed as Liam pulls him towards the kitchen.

•••

Dinner goes well, actually. Louis was worried, really worried, he would make a fool of himself. But with the way Liam's hand almost never left his thigh, leaving a warm print that spread all through his body, calming him in only the way he can, and then the way his parents treat him like one of their own and Karen giving him this... this _look_ , like he is the most wonderful person to ever walk into this house, especially alongside their son, he feels surprisingly comfortable.

But then there's this moment halfway through the chicken and mashed potatoes, this moment where Louis is all too aware of Liam's hand, it feels like it's burning a hole through his thigh more than anything, this moment where the topic of conversation has Louis reveal his job title to Liam's parents, and he wouldn't feel... inadequate, if it wasn't for the sudden switch away from him and onto Liam and how amazing his job is and how amazing a person he is and how amazing he's been his whole amazing life and how amazing a son he is being amazing since he came into this world. And then it's all too much, Louis feels like he could vomit, his throat is dry and his hands are sweaty and his leg is bouncing, and then maybe Liam notices because he tries to touch his leg again. And it's like time slows down, Louis can sense his hand moving towards his thigh, he watches it out of the corner of his eye, as it ever so slowly moves its way from the table to his pants, as they discuss Liam's track awards. He feels his skin paling and then Liam's hand is on his leg, and Louis jumps up, knees hitting the table. Then everyone is looking at him, and he stutters an excuse to the bathroom, almost tripping over his chair as he makes his way out into the hall. He stumbles his way upstairs and shuts the bathroom door behind him, already fanning himself with his shirt, because suddenly it's way too hot. He runs the faucet and rests his arms on the porcelain, and even the sink seems too pretty for Louis to even get near it. He splashes water on his face and rests his head on his arms, sighing deeply because he is just one big fuck up after another.

There is a knock on the door, and then it's open, and then Liam is in the bathroom, and he is giving Louis those eyes that make Louis feel like a baby that fell over trying to walk, and then Louis does feel like a baby.

"I'm sorry I interrupted dinner like that," is all he says, putting his head back down.

Liam closes the door softly. "Are you alright?" 

Nothing like, yeah, that was rude, or what the fuck was that, or how could you just get up and leave like that, just a simple question about him, even though this is Liam's old house and his parents and his mom's chicken and mashed potatoes, and their pretty porcelain sink. 

And Louis doesn't even know the answer to the question, and he wants to cry. And he does. Fucking sobs like a _baby_ and his whole body shudders and he tries to fall to the floor but Liam is quicker and wraps his arms around him, holding him up. He reaches around Louis and shuts off the water and turns on the overhead fan, so his parents can't hear. And then his hand is rubbing circles on his back and Louis feels even smaller than before.

"What is it, Lou? What's the matter?" Liam whispers in his ear, pressing gentle kisses to his temple.

Louis can't take it anymore, can't hold it in, he has to tell him, he's already falling apart in his arms, getting snot and tears on his white shirt that Louis knows Liam won't care about, and he can't exactly say it's nothing. It's obviously something. So he starts to talk, really he does, but it all comes out as a gargled, mumbled mess and Liam only catches a part of it.

"My sink is too pretty?" He looks at Louis, confused, but wanting him to stay comfortable enough to keep sharing, so he continues to rub circles in his back. "Take a deep breath, say it again." Another kiss.

Louis balls his hands into fists and pushes himself away from Liam, leaning against the sink and sighing loudly. "It's not about your stupid sink."

Liam knits his eyebrows together, but doesn't move closer. "Then what -"

"I'm a big fuck up! Alright?" Louis interrupts, raising his voice, although he doesn't know why. "There's no reason you should be with me, you have this fantastic life, full of all these trophies and awards and you have a meaningful job and your parents fucking adore you and no doubt your students do, too. And I'm just - nothing. I'm a shitty person, I don't even have a decent job, I'm just the fucking assistant. There's nothing going for me. I screw up every possible relationship I could be in on purpose, and I fucking treated Zayn like shit! Your best friend! I screwed him and his girlfriend and fucked him over and you're still with me! You shouldn't be, you deserve better, Liam. You're - you're too good for me. I tried to tell you before, so you would be out of this mess before you realized how terrible a person I am. I am ridiculous, honestly. This," he waves his hand between them, "is ridiculous, I don't even know why you wasted your time on me." Louis huffs, not able to look at Liam. He feels even worse for doing this at his parents' house after they made him dinner, so he can just add that to the list of reasons he's a sucky boyfriend and person.

Liam is trying to process what Louis' just told him, blinking rapidly and mouth open, because _what the fuck_. "Louis..." he trails, not knowing what to say, because Louis couldn't be more wrong, and Liam's having a hard time believing he thinks that way of himself, when Liam finds him so... Louis. And great. So great. 

"I know I'm right. You know it, too. So let's just tell your parents I was feeling sick and we'll leave and part ways." Louis tries to go for the door but Liam stops him.

"I don't want you to leave," Liam says, his voice soft. He tries to get Louis to look him in the eyes. He wants Louis to know what he means, how he feels. "Just, listen to me, okay? Stay with me? Please?"

His tone alone is enough to make Louis nod and sit down on the toilet, still not meeting his eyes, because he knows he will give in completely if he does.

Liam sighs, he knew Louis felt bad about himself from their encounter with Zayn, but he had no idea it was this deep. How can the person who makes him smile, makes him laugh, makes him happy, makes him content, feel this way about himself? But now their ridiculous fight yesterday morning makes perfect sense, and Liam really doesn't want to have another one. "Louis, I don't even know where to begin. You- you - I don't know if you've noticed but I _chose_ to be with you. You are not a waste of my time, at all. I wouldn't have tried to get another date with you, or spend all those nights with you, or invite you to meet my parents if I didn't like you. Which I do, a lot. And yeah, I'm not going to lie, what you did to Zayn was pretty fucked up. But that was, what? Almost two years ago? I saw how sorry you were at the showing, and it was a long time ago, Louis. I know you're not the same person you were then. I had a feeling who you were after our first date, that's half the reason I wanted to go out with you again so bad. I wanted to see if you really were as terrible as Zayn said. And you weren't - aren't. You are a good person, Lou. I don't know why you can't see that. Because it's all I see. Louis, there's so many - fuck, would you look at me please?" It's not demanding, it's desperate, and Louis looks up immediately. Liam's eyes are glazed, and he looks sad, sad for Louis, and maybe Louis isn't terrible, if Liam can get this way over him. 

Liam looks him right in the eyes, determined to get this through his head. He spreads the pad of his thumb over Louis' tear-stained cheeks, wiping them away. "Louis, you are not a bad person, okay? You've done some bad things, but those things don't define you. I see you on the phone with your mom and your sisters, I see how you talk about Harry and Niall, and you love your job, you know you do, and I know how you are with me, how you are in general. You've got a good heart, and don't think for a second you're less than me. You're not. My job isn't that great, I didn't even want it, I took it because I was desperate. And yeah, I'm glad I did, but that doesn't make me better than you. And who cares about my track awards? So I ran as a kid, big deal! Everyone's raised different, it's how you bring yourself up and into the world on your own that matters, Louis, and I think you've done a pretty good job of that." He wants to say more, wants to say "I love you," but he thinks he basically has, and he doesn't wanna freak him out, it's only been two months after all, but fuck, he thinks he does. But Louis' lip is trembling, and his eyes seem a little brighter, and Liam knows he's gotten through to him - which is great because he was expecting a fight - and then Louis is up and wrapping his arms around Liam's neck, and Liam is squeezing him tightly, wanting him to love himself as much as he does. "I want to be with you, Louis."

And Louis almost claws at his neck, fisting the hairs at the back of his neck. "I want to be with you, too. I'm sorry I -"

"Shh," Liam kisses his forehead. "You have nothing to apologize for. Just please, please stop thinking of yourself like that." More kisses to his forehead.

Louis breathes out shakily, then sniffles. "Okay."

And it's done, like that. Louis feels lighter, like his self-pity was a ten ton burden on his shoulders, and suddenly it's gone, because Liam lifted it off for him, tossed it to the side like it was nothing, because it isn't important. Because Louis doesn't suck, he isn't shit, he can breathe. He doesn't know why it was so hard for him, why he let himself carry himself around like that, and he feels so stupid, but then Liam is kissing his temple, then the shell of his ear. And then Louis is kissing his neck, and his jaw, and then their lips meet, and Louis presses everything he is against Liam's mouth. And Liam takes it, parting his lips, and Louis tugs at the bottom one, and then Liam's tongue is swiping over his lips, then his teeth, taking away Louis' doubt, and then there's hunger and desire and hands through hair and on backs sliding up shirts and marks left on soft skin and they are lost.

They both start grinding their hips together, pressing impossibly closer together, both getting hard, and Louis wants to stop because it isn't the time or place, but then Liam's hands are on his ass squeezing and pushing Louis closer to him. Then Louis is against the sink and Liam is dropping to his knees, unbuckling Louis' pants.

"Liam -"

"Shh, it's okay, they won't hear," Liam almost growls, kissing his hips and then his thighs, and then his hand is on Louis' cock, stroking and teasing through his boxers.

Louis fists some of Liam's hair, the other hand gripping the sink. This feels so, so... weird. But it's exciting. And he doesn't want it to stop. He shudders when Liam's thumb, the same one that wiped his tears away, strokes his tip, and his other hand pushes into the dip in Louis' waist. 

The same moment Louis realizes that this has only happened once, Liam's mouth has only been on Louis once before, briefly, is the moment Liam slides his tongue up the underside of his cock, ending at his tip, swirling his tongue around before he takes him in his mouth.

Louis moans as Liam's mouth works around his cock, cheeks hollowing, head bobbing up and down, tongue swiping and swirling. Louis throws his head back, fingers still in Liam's growing short hair, the idea that they could be caught by his _parents_ filling him with even more exhilaration. Liam moves one hand to grip the rest of Louis that isn't in his mouth, pumping up and down at the same rhythm his head does.

It doesn't take long, and maybe it's because Louis was already on edge, and maybe it's because he really does want - need seems a little desperate but let's be honest here, Louis does need - Liam, and maybe it's because they're practically exposed, and maybe it's just because Louis doesn't have as strong a resolve when it comes to Liam, but he's ready to come in barely five minutes. Liam can tell, by the way Louis' breathing is coming in short pants, the way his legs are tensing around his shoulders, the way his grip on his hair is hardening, the way his cock is pulsing and twitching, and Liam won't end with nothing but a bang. There's this thing about Louis, something about being light and soft and tender with him, because as much as he may try to hide it, he is light and soft and tender himself, and Liam loves it. He places kisses all along Louis' cock, thumbing his tip again, before he wraps his mouth around, fingers still touching Louis, and his thumb and tongue swirl and push and flick, and Liam's other hand is gripping Louis' waist tighter and tighter. Louis can't help it, he squirms, and Liam would smirk if he wasn't so busy, and then Louis is done, coming right in Liam's mouth, back arching in, breathing heavily.

Liam swallows and kisses Louis' hip before readjusting the flap on his boxers and standing up. He leans on the sink, Louis in between his legs, and smiles at him.

"Well, that was fun," Louis breathes out.

"Yeah," Liam agrees, putting a hand over Louis' hair. "It was." He leans in and kisses him softly, maybe so Louis will realize how beautiful he is, and then harder and hungrier, because the taste of Louis is still in his mouth, and Louis wants it too, his hands around Liam's neck. Louis can taste it all, himself, Liam, this thing they have between them that he doesn't understand but doesn't want to get rid of, this promise to Liam, and maybe even himself, to be better, all the time, because he is good, and this promise between the two of them, that Louis can't quite put a name to, but he loves it, and understands it, and that's enough. Liam is more than enough.

They break apart all too soon, but they really should get back downstairs, and Louis needs to apologize for his behavior, and he wants to hold Liam's hand as they go downstairs, taking the steps one at a time.

And they do all those things, and Karen assures Louis it's all fine, as long as he's feeling alright, which he is, and then she's laying out dessert, these lovely apple strudels, and they're all talking and laughing and Liam is always touching Louis as they eat, and things are good. They promise to visit again soon, and Karen is holding them to it, and Geoff is shaking their hands and clapping them on the backs, and then their jackets and shoes are on, and they're out the door and in the car.

•••

They go back to Louis', which he is hesitant about because of the fashion fiasco he had before Liam picked him up, and there's no way he will be able to sneak off and clean it up. He texts Harry in the car, asking if he's still at his apartment, which he wasn't, which is good, and then he tells Louis he cleaned up his room for him, which is really good. He's responding with a 'thank you' as Liam pulls into the building lot. 

Liam smiles at him as they get out of the car, and Louis slips his fingers in between Liam's as they go upstairs, feeling better. They kiss at the door, Liam nuzzling his head in Louis' neck when he tries to find the right key. Once it's unlocked, Liam spins Louis around so he can pepper him with more kisses, and he twists the doorknob, pushing the door open as he does so. They're happy and giddy and giggling and backing into Louis' apartment, feeling lighter than air. Liam starts to suck at Louis' neck, hands finding their way under his shirt. Louis tosses his keys and wraps his hands around Liam's waist, ready to roam too, but then Liam stops.

"Uh, Louis..." he whispers, pulling back.

Half of Louis doesn't want it to stop, things were _just_ getting started, but then the other half makes him think he did something wrong, and it's almost as if the last hour didn't happen.

"What?" Louis asks, voice cracking a little in his whisper.

"I think there's a burglar in here," Liam says and Louis wants to laugh. He wants to laugh out of relief, and also because the idea is so ridiculous to him, and Louis doesn't really care much about his apartment.

Louis turns around carefully, taking in his living room. The T.V. is on, there are beer bottles and chips out on the coffee table, the game controller accompanying it. He looks to the kitchen and there's a half empty box of pizza, and more chips and just a mess basically. Louis is confused for a second because no way would Harry leave this mess, and then he's scared that maybe someone else is here to rob him, but then there's a flush and a thud and a "shit" - which Liam jumps a little at, tightening his grip around Louis and pulling him closer to him, and Louis could just kiss him endlessly for that - but then Louis actually does laugh.

"Oh, it's just Niall," he tells Liam, pecking him on the cheek and sliding out of his grip as Niall comes out of the bathroom, tying his sweatpants. "Niall!" he yells, making him jump and trip backwards into the wall. 

"Shit, Louis." He holds a hand to his chest. 

"What the hell are you doing? You fucking slob look at this mess! There's _guac_ on my _couch_." Louis hits him on the side of the head. 

"Ow! Jesus, sorry. I was about to clean it up," Niall defends.

"Right after you took a shit in my bathroom, yeah, that's real classy," Louis looks around again. He doesn't mind that Niall is here, it's just the fact that it's messier than even Louis could get it, and Liam's here to see it.

"I did not!"

"Oh, bullshit," Louis says and then they both laugh at his choice of words, totally mature they are. "Just fucking clean this up, will ya?" 

"Yeah, yeah," Niall moves over to the couch to start cleaning up the chip crumbs. And just like that they're back to normal, not that there was a real problem anyways, but Louis can never stay mad at Niall, they're too close for that, and Niall's, well, too cute for them to be anything but good.

Niall ends up eating half the chips he scrapes into his hand, what a surprise. "Why do you look so fancy? I thought you had work. Where were you?"

"I was -" Louis looks behind him to Liam, realizing he's been standing there listening to their banter, and that they've never actually met. 

Niall looks up, and over to Liam. "Oh." He drops the chips he's just cleaned up back into a pile on the couch - " _Niall_ ," Louis groans - and walks over to Liam sticking his hand out to shake, his signature cheesy welcoming smile plastered on his face. "Nice to meet ya, Liam. I'm Niall. Louis talks about you all the time."

Louis could slap him.

"Really?" Liam laughs, glancing to Louis who cowers into the kitchen.

Niall nods. "Course, I don't know why, because Harry already knows you, and I personally could live life without hearing more of his relationship issues. I'm a simple man of Fifa and beer, really."

"Don't forget butt scratching and jacking off," Louis chimes in.

"Well, yeah, but what man isn't?" He shrugs to Liam, who just laughs again. "Do you wanna play a round? I just finished the last game." He gestures back to the T.V.

"Yeah, sure," Liam says. "Could be fun." He smiles at Louis over Niall's shoulder.

"Wait," Louis says, moving towards them. "You can't play again until after you've cleaned up my living room."

The smile on Niall's face falls. He groans. "Fine." He scurries off, cleaning up like his life depends on it, which it just very might.

Louis feels hands sliding around his waist and he turns back to face Liam. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Liam nips at his ear.

"Because we were gonna, you know, and Niall was here, with his messes and big mouth and I-"

Liam puts a finger on his mouth, chuckling. "It's no problem. I like him. And we can finish what we started later, promise."

"Okay," Louis says and Liam pokes his nose before leaning down to kiss him.

Louis takes Liam's jacket for him, hanging it on the rack while he promptly tosses his into his bedroom, kicking his shoes off in there as well. He changes into some sweats and a purple shirt, giving Liam a pair of bottoms as well. They can't help but to stop and make out on the bed, really, it'd be a crime to not take the opportunity. But then Niall's ready and complaining from the living room - "Jesus, Lou, you've been with him all night surely you can keep your hands off of him for a game of Fifa! Honestly! You have plenty of time to stick your dick in his ass later!" And then Louis blushes a bit because he hasn't actually done that, but he can't think about it long because Liam is laughing and pulling Louis up off the bed.

"He's very blunt, isn't he?" He kisses Louis one more time in the dark.

"Yeah, especially when you interrupt his video games, he's a menace." Louis shakes his head and tugs Liam out of the room, and they finally go play Fifa with Niall.

•••

Things go well. Liam becomes part of their group, whether they hang out at Harry's or Louis' or that dingy buffet they love so much. It's been easy really, being with Liam now isn't a task, it's...natural, Louis thinks. He can't believe he missed it, to be fair, he was out of his element, has been for a long time. But everything in him feels connected now, like all the pieces fell into place finally, fell in love. 

He's not afraid to think about that. He thinks he's known it since the first butterflies in his stomach. And that was a little over five months ago. Usually the concept would be so frightening him, to be in love. L-o-v-e. Four letters, one syllable, yet utterly complicated in ways that Louis just tries to avoid all together. But with Liam, it's so simple, so obvious, so...clear. It's really easy to breathe when you've opened yourself up to someone. Trust is key, and it's locked their hearts together for a good while, unbreakable. 

So it's second nature when they go to meet at that same buffet the weekend Liam's school lets out, celebrating more free nights to drink and fuck the night away. Louis plans to christen the new opportunity as soon as this dinner is over. He's been bumping Liam's shoulder all night, *nudge nudge* *wink wink*. Liam just smiles at his boyfriend, enjoying the idea of waking up next to him the next morning - which will be _all_ week - just a little more.

Niall finally joins them, late as usual, sitting down next to Harry, across from Liam and Louis. 

"Where've you been?" Harry asks him.

"Yeah, what took you so long? I'm fucking starving," Louis states.

"Louis," Liam scolds, but he can't help but to smile.

"What? He's late; he should know how I feel about it." He gestures back to Niall with his beer glass. "And I feel you should pay for my meal. I could've keeled over right here, for all we know. It's the least you could do."

"How about this, when you actually do keel over from starvation, I'll pay for everyone's meal at the funeral," Niall quips back, opening his menu.

"Damn, Horan. I'm hurt." Louis holds a hand to his chest.

"To be fair, you asked for it," Harry chimes in, taking a sip of his beer.

"Oh, shut up." Louis throws a sugar packet at him, and it gets caught in his curls, getting so tangled Niall has to help him get it out. 

"But seriously, Niall are you alright? You're not one to be snarky," Louis asks once the packet is untangled. He can be a dick as much as he can worry about the people closest to him.

Niall sighs and slumps over, and they all instinctively lean in towards him. He runs his hands over his face. "There's this - let's say - there's a -"

"Girl," they all finish for him. 

He almost glares at them, but decides it's easier not to. "Yeah. I don't know what to do."

"Well," Louis says, taking a sip of his beer, "there's this thing called talking. You should try it, revolutionary. If you wanna take it a step up, you can go for flirting."

Niall gives him that "ha ha you're so funny" look, which Louis expected, and Harry even snickers, which he didn't expect.

"Louis," Liam nudges with his knee, shaking his head at him. Expected. Liam turns back to Niall. "What's the problem?"

Niall sighs again. "She works at the bar with me, and we've been working all these shifts together lately, and she's always taking mine for me because I'm a lazy shit, and I feel bad. And her birthday's coming up and I wanna get her something, especially since I forgot it last year and she worked my shift that day, and I need to apologize for being so...stupid." He exasperates heavily, leaning his head on one hand, his fingers gripping the side of his hair. "And it's not that I like her, I mean, I do, but we're only friends."

"But you wanna be more?" Liam suggests.

"No," Niall says, flatly and simply. 

"Why not?" Louis asks, finding it hard to believe. 

"Well, there's two reasons. One of which is she's gay," Niall throws out, taking everyone by surprise. 

"Oh," Louis says, his voice a little smaller than before. "Well what's the second reason? There couldn't be another one after that."

"Oh, there is." He pauses and takes a big gulp of his beer. "It's why she hasn't met any of you yet. Well, she's met you two." Niall looks at Liam and Louis, gesturing his glass between the two of them.

They look at each other, both their eyebrows raised, trying to figure out who the hell he could be talking about. 

"Niall," Louis starts, "who could it possibly be? I barely talk to any girls, and the one I do knows Liam, too? There's no wa - Holy shit!" It hits him like a pile of bricks, and he slams his hands on the table. Niall nods. "Perrie!?"

Liam gasps a little, and Harry interjects with a drawn out, "ohhhhh." 

"Wait, I thought she was straight?" Liam asks after he's processed what he's just heard.

"Nah, she was bi before," Niall says, "Ditched men after this one's handiwork." He points at Louis.

"Wow, glad I could be of service," he grumbles and the other boys laugh. Liam rubs his thigh. "Well next time you see her tell her she was tons of confirmation for me, too. I've never been more into dick than after that little thing, maybe even during," he says, taking another sip of his beer, wincing at the realization of his words. "Actually, no. Don't say any of that. Just... fuck, I need to talk to her. Why don't you bring her around?"

"Yeah, I'm sure she'd be cool with him now that he's been her push over the edge," Harry says, throwing a smug smile Louis' way. 

"Plus, I haven't seen her in a while," Liam adds. 

Niall looks between all of them, before running a hand through his hair. "Fine," he gives in. "But just know she doesn't know I'm friends with you, and she doesn't know I know that whole connection. I figured it out after she told me she went out with Zayn, how many guys out there are named Zayn, right? It was pretty obvious."

"Look at you, using that little peanut brain of yours, I knew you had it in you," Louis mock coos, reaching across the table to rub his hand over the top of Niall's head. 

He hits Louis' hand away, fixing his hair simultaneously with the other one. "Shut up. And I need help with the present, so have fun coming with me to get it," he tells them, downing the last of his beer. 

They all groan and Harry protests that he didn't really do anything wrong because the topic went to Louis and Liam, and Harry doesn't know her. But it's all empty; they're going to go with him, regardless of how much Louis will complain about it - which he has a lot of fun doing - it's just this thing they do as friends, not because they owe each other anything, but because they want to. 

They order after that - having decided they were too lazy to get up and go get food from the buffet line - and it's not until the food comes, and Liam and Louis are mostly feeding each other what they ordered, and Niall and Harry are mocking them, that the thing happens. The thing that makes Louis want to crawl under the table, but Liam grips his wrist. The thing that's just so fucking perfect of course it would happen, especially after just helping Niall with his Perrie problem.

Of course Zayn walks in. And of course he spots Liam. And of course he walks over, and then he sees Harry and Niall and finally Louis. And his face hardens a bit but he plays it off quickly, but it's still enough to make Louis want to run to the bathroom and hide.

"Hey, Liam," Zayn grins at his friend, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Louis." He barely glances at him, his tone flat and forced. Louis thinks about their conversation at the gallery, wondering what happened to him being okay with him and Liam. "How're things?"

"Good," Louis says to him, smiling at Liam and then Zayn. He knows the question wasn't really for him, but he's trying to show Zayn that he's different, he is...good.

"Great," Liam says, turning to smile broadly at Louis, both rows of teeth, and Louis can't help but to smile back and squeeze the hand on his thigh, because yeah, things are great, really great. Perfect, even.

Zayn glances between the two of them. He swallows. "Yeah, they must be. I barely see you anymore, man."

Liam sighs. "I'm sorry, Zayn. I was thinking about that, too. I've just been busy. But school just ended, I have tons of more free time. Why don't we get together next week? We're having a huge Fifa thing next week, if you wanna come? If you guys don't mind?" He turns back to the group, and they all shake their heads no, it's not a problem at all. Liam looks at Louis, raising his eyebrows, making sure he's okay with this. 

"Yeah, why don't you come over? It'll be fun," Louis says to Zayn, trying to keep his voice as even as possible.

Zayn's skeptical, but he nods. "Yeah, sure, okay. Sounds fun." He smiles at them all.

"Great," Liam says, clapping his hands together. "Oh, yeah, this is Niall and that's Harry."

"Hey," Zayn nods at each of them, who had raised a hand in greeting. "Thanks for letting me impose."

"It's no problem at all," Harry says, that signature smile and dimple of his showing nothing but politeness. 

"Yeah, the more the merrier!" Niall cheers, and Louis' not sure if it's the beer or if he's just completely overlooked the fact that this is the ex to his new gay best friend he's inviting over to hang out with them, one of which happens to be the reason said best friend is now gay and said ex is the ex.

"Okay, cool," Zayn smiles. "Well, I gotta pick up my order. But it was good seeing you guys." He looks at Liam before Louis, giving him this look that Louis can't decipher until Zayn adds, "Really," with another smile and then he's off, and Louis is thoroughly confused. 

"Louis, you look like you just smelled one of Niall's farts," Harry says after a while. 

"Huh?" He looks up, shaking his head. "Oh, I just -"

"Are you okay?" Liam asks him. 

"Yeah, it's just - was he really all pissy at me because you hadn't been hanging out with him?"

"He wasn't pissy at you," Liam says, laughing a little at Louis' choice of words. 

"Dude, I could feel the ice coming off of him when he looked at Louis," Niall says, leaning back in his chair. 

"But he was cool when he left, though," Harry adds in. 

"Right?" Louis says. "Tell me that was weird."

"That was weird," Niall and Harry say at the same time.

"It's just 'cause we haven't hung out in a while," Liam says, trying to defend Zayn. "He's been my best friend since, like, high school. Even when he had Perrie we all hung out together. It's weird, we're usually always together." Liam frowns.

"You know, you don't have to hang out with me all the time, right?" Louis says, running his hand over Liam's back, feeling guilty for some reason. "It's not fair you get to hang out with my friends over yours. Bros before - well, me." 

Liam gives him a small smile. "Yeah, I have been missing him. But, are you sure? 'Cause I don't mind -"

"Liam," Louis interrupts. "You have a life besides me, you know. Just because he's Zayn and I'm me, doesn't mean you have to choose. I'm cool with him if he's cool with me, and even if he's not, we can both make nice just enough for you." He kisses Liam's cheek, poking his side. "Seriously." Liam nods and Louis leans in close, his mouth right by his ear. "Just as long as I get you all this week." He nips at his Liam's earlobe. 

Niall scoffs from the other side of the table. "Honestly, Louis, I don't know why you two feel the need to whisper about your plans to fuck, we know it's what you do almost every single night. Jesus, you two are worse than a couple of rabbits. And you're not quiet."

"Niall!" Louis exclaims. Liam's cheeks redden. "You promised you'd leave if you walked in on me with someone." They made a pact a long time ago, when Louis was living by his "three dates only" rule, and Niall was basically living in his apartment. There were far too many times when Niall - bless his soul - thought Louis was jumping on the bed or something else completely off when he walked in. Needless to say he was utterly horrified when he saw it wasn't so innocent. 

"Oh, believe me, I do." Niall's face squishes up, flashing back to all the awkward encounters. "I'm talking about those times I crashed on your couch in like the past month, when you two got it on because you thought I wouldn't hear."

Liam's mouth falls and he hits Louis on the arm. "I told you it wasn't a good idea!"

"Um, excuse me, Liam. Who was the one who was practically shoving his dick up my butt every time Niall went to the bathroom!" Louis fires back. 

"I was not! You were purposely sitting in my lap the whole time! What was I supposed to do?"

"I was testing you," Louis says like it's so obvious. "You fucking horn dog." He throws a fry at him and sticks his tongue out. He won't be pinned as the instigator. His reserve has built up again now that he's used to Liam, he wants to keep coming off that way. But he was totally doing it on purpose that night, which he'll never admit. 

Liam throws the fry back, hitting Louis square in the face. Louis doesn't mind, it means he's won, and Liam is too fond for it to mean anything. 

They're back to holding hands under the table in only a few seconds. 

"Well, well, well," Harry tuts, rimming the top of his beer glass. "Louis Tomlinson a bottom. Who would've guessed."

"Oh, shut up, Harry. Just because I fucked you the one time." Louis takes a big gulp of his beer, wanting to wipe the smug smile off Harry's face.

"You had sex with Harry?" Liam asks, letting go of his hand, and _shit_ Louis forgot to mention that.

"Um, yeah. But it was only once, like a long, long, long, time ago. Nothing special," Louis tries to assure Liam.

"It's true. Wasn't anything noteworthy," Harry chimes in, spiting Louis.

That doesn't make Liam feel any better though. Louis tries to squeeze his thigh. "It's fine. It was, like, college. We were drunk. It's nothing, okay?" 

"Okay," Liam says after a while. "I just don't know why you never mentioned it." His voice is small.

Louis shrugs. "It's not important." He finds Liam's hand and Liam smiles shakily at him, nodding.

"Guys," Niall starts. "What's a bottom?"

They all groan and pelt him with fries.

••• 

Louis and Liam go back to Liam's apartment, finally able to be alone. They all paid their checks and parted ways, Harry and Niall deciding to catch a late movie, Louis and Liam doing the obvious.

Louis waits patiently, he does. He waits for them to be inside the closed door, he waits for Liam to hang up their jackets, he waits for Liam to tidy up a bit, he waits for Liam to go to the bathroom, but he doesn't wait for him to buckle his pants back up; as soon as he hears the flush he runs in and grabs Liam's face, pressing up against him and back into the wall, kissing with him with everything that's been building up over the course of the night. Liam responds right away, wrapping his arms around Louis' back, and he actually lifts him up, with just one arm and carries him to the bedroom, reaching to shut the bathroom light off as he does so. When the back of Louis' legs hit the bed, he pulls Liam down on top of him and they fall, not missing a beat. Liam holds himself up over Louis, who's running his hands over his back and his tongue over his teeth. The kiss gets sloppier, both of them too hungry to think straight, Liam starts trailing his lips over Louis' neck, going back up to that spot right under his ear that drives him crazy, sucking hard, grazing his teeth, sliding his tongue, marking him. Louis moans, reaching for Liam's waistline, pulling his jeans down around his thighs, moving his hand back up to Liam's already hard dick. He palms him, running his hand up and down, thumbing his tip as he does so. 

Liam straddles Louis, keeping his lips connected to his neck, using both hands to slide Louis' pants down, before he reciprocates Louis's hand job. Then Liam decides it isn't enough, and he's ripping off both of their shirts in a second, leaning back down to kiss Louis' chest, moving down to his cock. Louis manages to slide out of his jeans, and wrestle Liam's legs out of his before Liam's mouth is at his base. Liam runs his tongue down Louis' cock, light and feathery, making Louis shudder, and he responds by gripping Liam again, focusing on his tip because he knows that's what does it for him. Liam wraps his mouth around Louis, flicking and sucking, his cheeks hollowing in, his head bobbing up and down. They start to move at the same pace, and they get faster and messier as they get closer. Louis' hips buck up, and Liam takes his mouth off of him, immediately switching to his hand, panting heavily as he leans down by Louis' ear again, kissing and sucking. 

"I want you to fuck me," he breathes out, his hot breath fanning over Louis, his plump lips pressed to the soft skin of Louis' nape and _fuck_ Louis could come right there. "Please."

He stops what he's doing to Liam, looking up at him. "Are you sure?" 

"Yes," Liam growls into his ear. "I want you."

Louis knows it's because of the thing with Harry, but he doesn't want to think about that. It's not important, he's wanted this for so long. He never thought he wouldn't be on top all the time, not until Liam obviously. 

He doesn't wait for anything else, simultaneously pressing a finger against Liam's hole and pressing his lips against his. Liam shudders and moans, and Louis thinks he doesn't do this too often, which makes it all the more fun. 

He circles his fingers around, using some of Liam's precum as he does so. He's so _tight_ , Louis thinks, and the thought makes Louis moan into Liam's mouth. He kneads with his knuckles and rounds his movements, pressing harder each time. Then he slips a finger in, and Liam clenches and breaths a _fuck_ against Louis' mouth, and Louis smiles. He circles and pumps, adding another finger in soon. Liam starts to meet Louis' movements halfway, circling his hips a little too. Louis pumps harder, almost pulling out completely each time, his other hand gripping Liam's back. And then Liam's legs are wiggling, and he's _whining_ and Louis is enjoying every second of it as he pulls his fingers out, flipping them over, getting behind Liam. Louis' glad they haven't had to waste any time with condoms, they're both clean, and honestly, he doesn't know if he himself would've been able to wait to put it on. 

He grips Liam's waist and then he presses his dick against him, wanting to make Liam moan one more time before he pushes in. 

" _God _," Liam whimpers, bucking his hips back towards Louis.__

__Louis takes it slow at first, stretching Liam out, moving his hips in circles. He starts to just pump, slowly in, slowly out, speeding it up each time. Liam rocks himself back and forth as Louis pushes in and slides out, and then there's no rhythm, just passion, sloppy movements and harder grips and grunts and moans. Louis moves harder and harder, knowing when he hits Liam's prostate by the way he grips the sheets. Louis keeps hitting that spot, not slowing down, knowing Liam's close, and so is he._ _

__Liam's knuckles are white, and he cries out when he comes all over the sheets. He clenches around Louis and strokes his own cock to ride out his orgasm, and Louis keeps pumping, just enough for him to finish. Liam's breathing is heavier than his when he comes inside him, and Louis rests his chin against Liam's back, moving his cock in and out slow, before pulling out completely, falling down next to Liam on the bed._ _

__Liam's chest is rising rapidly, and Louis leans over and presses breathy kisses to his torso, moving up his neck and pressing his lips to his, soft. He nuzzles his head in Liam's neck, still pressing his lips to the skin he can reach._ _

__"That was so good, babe," he says, and he doesn't know why, but he feels the need to let Liam know it was amazing for him too. "Fuck."_ _

__Liam huffs out a laugh, closing his eyes and wrapping his arm around Louis' waist. "Why don't we do that more often?"_ _

__Louis smiles. "I have no idea."_ _

__"Shit," Liam breathes, pressing a kiss to the top of Louis' head before resting his cheek against it._ _

__They don't need to say anything else, perfectly content with laying here in each other's arms. Liam tries to pull the top sheet over both of them, and Louis tangles his legs with his, closing his eyes against Liam's chest. It doesn't take long before they're both asleep, curled into each other, with smiles on their faces._ _

__•••_ _

__"That's really not going to get you want you want," Louis mumbles, his face still pressed into the pillow. He snuggles closer to it, over dramatically sighing with content._ _

__Liam releases his grip on Louis' ankle. He had been tugging at him for about five minutes, accompanied with whiny "c'mon Louis, get up"s, trying to get him out of bed. "Just get up, would you? You're the one who wanted to do this anyways," Liam huffs, plopping on the bed next to Louis' feet. He's at least put a shirt on and brushed his teeth; Louis hasn't even moved, let alone opened his eyes._ _

__"Five more minutes," Louis promises again, waving a hand at Liam._ _

__Liam grabs his wrist and tugs again. "Louuuuiiss."_ _

__Louis murmurs incoherently into the pillow again, pulling his arm out of Liam's grasp and tucking it under his head._ _

__"Fine. If you're gonna act like a child," Liam says and Louis is worried he's going to get the silent treatment or some other thing Liam thinks is punishment - which it really is but Louis would never let him know that, he just bothers and annoys him until he gives in, which doesn't take long. But then Liam jumps on him, making the mattress bounce, and he straddles his waist and squeezes._ _

__Louis groans. "Oi, Lia-"_ _

__Then he starts tickling. He pins Louis' hands down with one of his own and uses his thighs to keep him in place as he wiggles his fingers up and down his side._ _

__Louis is laughing too hard to form a sentence of protest - he really hates how ticklish he is, and he really hates how soon Liam figured it out, he reverts to it too often for Louis' sake. He tries to wriggle out from under Liam, to no avail, just like always._ _

__("Get up!" "No!" "Get up, get up, get up!" "No, no, no!" "Get! Up!" "No!" "Getupupupupupup!" "Nononononoooo!")_ _

__"Louis, I'm serious. Get up! I could do this all day you know!" Liam says, laughing himself as he continues his attack on Louis._ _

__Louis can't make a noise anymore, he's just gasping for air essentially. He smacks his hand back against the pillows their pinned against. "F-fi-fine! You - you win!"_ _

__Liam smiles proudly and let's go of his wrists. He presses a fat kiss to Louis' neck. "Good morning, darling."_ _

__"Yeah, whatever," Louis grumbles, but he can't help his heart fluttering from being called darling. They don't use pet names often, and when they do, it never feels out of place, it's always so natural. Everything is so natural with Liam, second nature. Perfectly endearing._ _

__"I'll make breakfast, you get dressed," Liam says, trailing his fingers down Louis' arm as he gets off the bed._ _

__"Yes, sir," Louis responds, finally sitting up. He sighs and rubs his hand over his face. Today's the day Niall's bringing Perrie over to Harry's, and Louis' not as ready as he thought he was. He was all for it when he suggested it at dinner last week, still feeling good about it the other day when they all helped Niall get her a present - some lavender bath soaps and a guitar pick, she likes to sing or something, and Niall's been giving her guitar lessons so she can surprise her girlfriend with a song - but today, less than five hours away from seeing her after two years, he would much rather lay in bed._ _

__Liam comes out of the bathroom, fresh in a pair of jeans and a new blue shirt, smiling warmly at Louis. He goes over to him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He whispers against his skin. "This is a good thing you're doing, Louis. Really. I'm proud of you." He leans down and kisses his lips softly before going to the kitchen to make breakfast._ _

__Louis takes a moment to process his words, still not able to believe he got so lucky. He smiles. He loves Liam, he really does. He needs to tell him, he wants to say it every time he sees him, but he can never find the right words or time. So he just presses his lips to his, hoping to somehow transfer all he's feeling into the kiss, wrapping his arms around his neck and holding him close because he's warm and he needs it. Because he doesn't want to lose him._ _

__He gets out of bed, feeling more elated than the morning should allow. He doesn't take long to get ready, doesn't need to, and doesn't want to waste time he could be spending out in the kitchen with Liam. He puts on his black jeans and a red shirt and fixes his hair out of his face._ _

__"Pancakes? You spoil me far too much, Liam," Louis notes, getting on his tip toes to kiss Liam on the cheek as he mixes the last batch._ _

__"I do, don't I? I should probably stop that, seeing as I get nothing in return," Liam quips._ _

__Louis outwardly gasps. "Excuse me, what do you call last night! And the night before, and the night before that, and the night before that, and the -"_ _

__Liam wipes some batter on Louis' nose, laughing at him. "Okay, okay."_ _

__Louis wipes his nose with the back of his hand and crosses his arms. "That's right. You know, maybe I should cut back on what I do, seeing as you don't appreciate my craftsmanship."_ _

__Liam responds by sliding his hand along Louis' back before promptly goosing him. Louis yelps, and Liam snakes his arm around his waist, squeezing and pulling him close to him. "I appreciate it, don't you worry."_ _

__"Well, good," Louis pouts, looking up at him. He cheesily puckers his lips out, making Liam roll his eyes, but leaning down to kiss him nonetheless._ _

__"Go set the table, or something," Liam says, letting go of Louis, smacking his butt and turning back to the pancake batter._ _

__"Yes, sir," Louis salutes, going to pour them some orange juice._ _

__•••_ _

__Time passes far too quickly. Breakfast is over in twenty minutes, and they really just lay on the couch together, watching T.V. and messing with their phones. Louis is between Liam's legs, back pressed to front, lazily grazing his thigh and Liam runs his hand through Louis' hair as they lay there, not speaking, not having to, just knowing that they're there is enough. Liam's always more than enough._ _

__But then it's over, and Louis finds himself in Liam's car as they drive over to Harry's. He twiddles his fingers and his leg bounces up and down, and he thinks how can he do this? He was so sure about it a few days ago, but now, it's... frightening, really. He can't imagine having to face Perrie after what he's done, but he knows he has to, and even though it's worked out for the best - or at least seemed to - he still feels terribly guilty. And then to have to hang out with Zayn the day after tomorrow, it's too much. He knows that won't be too bad, but he's not entirely comfortable around the guy. They've run into each other a few times even before last week, and things were okay, Louis thinks. There wasn't tension he could feel, at least, but it wasn't entirely friendly, it was formal, even with Liam as a buffer. It's just... weird. Plain and simple._ _

__"Louis?" Liam asks from the driver seat, already grabbing Louis' hands, stopping his twiddling._ _

__"Hm? I'm fine, really," Louis says, not needing to see the look on Liam's face to know what he was going to ask._ _

__"I know, I was just saying we're here."_ _

__Louis looks up and oh, they have stopped moving, parked right in Harry's lot. He looks sheepishly at Liam, who has a smirk and a look of concern - the look Louis was already expecting - on his face. "Oh."_ _

__Liam chuckles and squeezes his hand. "It's gonna be fine, babe. Okay? She's not gonna hate you."_ _

__Louis exhales heavily. "I hope so."_ _

__"She won't," Liam repeats, leaning over to kiss his cheek. He unclips Louis' and his belts. "Now, come on, everyone's in there."_ _

__Louis gets out of the car, and the second he rounds the front he's grabbing Liam's hand again, holding tightly as they walk up to Harry's floor. He fears it makes him seem weak, but if he wasn't holding his hand, he'd probably be shaking, and that's much worse._ _

__Liam knocks on the door and Harry answers, sweeping them inside quick because they were just in the middle of a round of Mario Kart._ _

__And Louis hears her before he even sees her. He hears her and Niall laughing and chatting and he feels his chest concaving. He knows he's about to kill the mood, as soon as he walks into her sight, it will all go to hell. She'll see red, she'll be furious, disgusted, she'll leave, Niall will try to follow after her, Niall will get mad at Louis and never want to speak to him again, and Louis will crumple. He sees it far too clearly for it not to happen._ _

__"Hey." Liam's voice is soft and grabs Louis' shoulders and pulls him back into the shadows of the hallway. "Hey, Louis, it's all gonna be alright. Everything will be fine, I promise."_ _

__"I don't - I just - I can't - I can't do this," Louis chokes out before his voice cracks and the tears build up. He thinks he's having a panic attack, and then he thinks that's a good excuse to get out of this, and then he's mad at himself for thinking that, and then his chest is getting tighter and tighter and the tears start to fall and he can't speak, can't breathe._ _

__Liam pulls him into his arms immediately. "Shh, shh. Louis. There's nothing you need to worry over, okay? Niall said she isn't bitter, and that's not going to change anytime soon. And you said yourself you wanted to talk to her, and that's great, Lou, so great. Okay? Just breathe, breathe. I'll be right here the whole time. You can do this. I believe in you, okay? And I'm so proud of you for doing this, taking this step. Please don't let it go to waste, Louis. You can do this."_ _

__Louis is still against Liam's frame, his arms curled between them, his fists against Liam's chest, head tucked in under his chin. Liam rubs his back and holds him tight, kissing his head and whispering in his ear. He can hear the game's started back up, none of them paying the slightest attention to where they are. Louis takes a shaky breath, trying to take in Liam's words, trying to believe them. Deep down somewhere inside him he knows Liam's right, he has to do this. And the thing is he wants to, it's just... he doesn't really know. And he guesses that since he can't put a name to it, it's not that important, and he can overcome it. He can do this._ _

__"Okay," he breathes out, pressing his palms to his eyes to wipe away the tears. He can't believe he cried. He nods, affirming it for Liam, and himself. "Okay."_ _

__"Okay," Liam repeats, kissing Louis' forehead, then nose, then cheeks, then finally his lips. Louis presses himself hard up against Liam, needing this kiss to give him what he thinks he's missing. Liam pulls away, softly kissing right by Louis' lips. He holds his head in his hands. "I'll go out first, alright?"_ _

__Louis nods, gripping Liam's bicep as he pulls away, his hand sliding down his arm._ _

__Louis listens from the hall as Liam greets everyone, a squealed "Liam!" coming from Perrie, and a grunt from Liam that Louis assumes means she wrapped him in a hug._ _

__"How've you been? I haven't seen you in forever," Liam says, no doubt a broad smile on his face._ _

__"I know!" Perrie responds. "I wish we could've stayed in touch, but Zayn wanted nothing to do with me, I assumed you were the same."_ _

__"No, no, of course not! It was just hard with him being all brooding and, well, Zayn," Liam says and they both laugh. "But I'm glad Niall here brought you around, now we can catch up."_ _

__"Yeah, yeah, of course! How are you doing?" Perrie asks and Louis thinks they sit down because their voices get smaller and the couch squishes._ _

__"I'm great, really fantastic, actually, Liam says and Louis can't help but to smile, a little proudly." And school's just finished so I can relax some before I have to get everything ready for next year, so that's always nice. But what about you? What's this new girlfriend you've got or so I hear?"_ _

__"Oh," Perrie starts and Louis can feel her blush from around the corner. "She's great, she's so amazing, I'm so glad I got to meet her. We've only been together a few months but it's been better than any other relationship I've had."_ _

__"That's great, I'm happy for you," Liam says, and Louis knows he means it - Liam always means it._ _

__"She's cute too, all around good catch," Niall pipes up, crunching some chips in his mouth as he speaks._ _

__"Niall, there's more to a person than just looks," Harry drawls out. Louis honestly forgot they were both there._ _

__"Thank you," Perrie says, like it's something she's had an issue with multiple times, and knowing Niall, it probably was. "Anyway," she starts after Niall promptly mumbles about everyone ganging up on him, Liam laughing. "What about you? Niall told me you've got some great new boyfriend yourself, you were bringing by. Is he here?"_ _

__Liam clears his throat and Louis steps a little closer to the corner, ready to come out. He takes a deep breath as Liam says, "Actually, I did..."_ _

__Louis can see the confusion on Perrie's face from Liam's tone in the reflection of the T.V. "Oh, my gosh, is it Zayn?"_ _

__"What? No, no, no. No. We're still just friends," Liam denies quickly, and Louis snickers._ _

__"Oh," Perrie pouts. "Well, then, who is it? Do I know him?"_ _

__"Um, yeah," Liam starts and Louis knows it's time to make himself known._ _

__He breathes deep again and takes a step around the corner with bated breath as Perrie comes into view. Liam is quick to his side, sliding an arm around Louis' waist, squeezing his side with _it's all gonna be okay_ laced in the gesture. _ _

__"Louis?" Perrie's mouth falls open, the incredulity obvious. So many emotions pass over her face, Louis can't decide if he should speak or run._ _

__"Yeah," Liam hesitates but stands strong by his boyfriend. "We've been together for about six months."_ _

__"Hi," Louis blurts out, feeling he should say something, anything, but he immediately regrets his stupidity._ _

__Perrie looks between them, her face soft but her eyes shooting daggers over the both of them. She gets up and walks towards them, and Louis is prepared for a hard slap to the face - he deserves it - but instead he gets her arms wrapped around his shoulders. "I want to scream 'fuck you' and a bunch of other things for what you did, but all I can really say is," she lets go of Louis, who's still in shock, "thank you." She looks a bit grim about it, but her eyes go soft and a small smile forms over her face. "If it hadn't been for you I would've never been able to become who I am, you know? Like, what you did was so shitty, but I needed it. I didn't know it at the time but I did, and, like, Zayn, he... he wasn't what I needed, or wanted, really. And after you did that, and you're not at all to blame, even though you were pretty manipulative about it, I agreed, and it's because I wasn't happy, so I thank you for that. Because, if both me and Zayn were willing to cheat, what kind of relationship is that, anyways? So, in the end what you did was helpful, and I got to meet the girl of my dreams from it, so..." Her flurry of hand gestures and rambling ends with a fond smile on her face, and Louis is really at a loss for words._ _

__"I- uh, wow," is all he can say before Perrie looks up at him again. "I mean, that's - I'm so sorry, still. Like, it was the worst thing for me to do, ever. And I've honestly hated myself for it for the longest time, and I'm just so, so, sorry, Perrie. I wish I could make it up to you."_ _

__"Louis! Weren't you listening?" There's a smile on her face again, a light tone in the air despite the topic of conversation. "You've done wonders for me, already. Not that you intended to, though. But still, I forgive you. I forgave you about three days after it happened to be honest. And I'd be lying if I said the sex wasn't great."_ _

__And Louis can't help but to perk up a little at that, standing straighter, a smug smile on his face, which Liam elbows him for, but he doesn't really care._ _

__"And besides, it was really easy to not want to kill you when I saw you were with Liam. If he's kept you around, there must be something good about you," she says and Louis smiles, sincere this time. "And Niall's told me how lovey dovey you two are, and what a good friend you are to him, although he failed to mention your name the whole time," she turns her head back to Niall in an accusatory manner and Niall just holds his hands up in defense, taking a sip from his bottle of beer. Perrie laughs. "So I'm happy for you. Both of you. Everyone deserves a second chance."_ _

__Louis can't really process what's just happened. He expected it to go so differently, having to beg and plead for her forgiveness, or something along those lines. "I - thank you, Perrie. I'm sorry."_ _

__"I know you are. I can tell you actually mean it, you've changed, I can see it," she says, moving her eyes over to Liam and down to the hand pressed in Louis' side. She turns briskly and goes back to the couch. "If you still feel that bad about it, Louis, you can come let me kick your butt in Mario Kart." She pats the couch beside her._ _

__Louis laughs. "Deal." He presses a kiss to Liam's cheek before breaking away from him and joining Perrie and his friends in front of the T.V._ _

__After a few rounds, and much teasing from Perrie and Niall and Harry and even Liam about how bad Louis is at this game - which he ignores even though it's true, Perrie is crushing him - Louis is at ease. He doesn't feel awkward anymore; he and Perrie shoving each other as they race, like old friends, and all the banter between them only lightens the mood, making Louis feel even more comfortable. After the sixth round in a row Louis has failed to get first, it's time to open Perrie's presents._ _

__Niall wrings his hand together, very uncharacteristically. He was nervous enough about having Louis over, and then add in the stress about the present and how it had to be just right to make up for all the shifts she's taken for him - because lavender bath soaps really say that - he's practically shaking when she opens the first gift._ _

__"Ooh, I love lavender! Thanks, guys," she beams at them. It's a good thing they all pitched in, so that way Niall can take full credit for the gift that actually carries some significance. Perrie moves to open it, not even as much as a downturn of the lips when she sees the small box, like most girls would, and it doesn't look like a jewelry box either. "Hm, it's light," she states and looks at them before opening it. She pulls the bow off carefully, Niall's leg bouncing quicker and quicker the longer she takes. Finally, she pulls the lid off, and her breath catches, and she holds a hand to her chest._ _

__"Fuck!" Niall proclaims, banging a hand on the table. "I knew it, it was a stupid present, I'm such shit at this. I should've known better. I just wanted to get you something nice to say thanks for all your help at work and I've just gone and fucked it up now! I'm sorry I'll take it ba-"_ _

__"Niall!" Perrie interrupts, clapping a hand over his mouth. "Will you shut up? I love it."_ _

__"You do?" Niall mumbles against her palm, his eyebrows raised in disbelief, and relief._ _

__"Yes," she laughs, pulling her hand away. "It's perfect, really. My parents got me a guitar and this pick is great, it's mine, you know? And it even has a little 'p' on it." She giggles a little. "And now I can work on that song and everything will actually be my work, well with your help of course. But I just... I really love it. Thank you, Niall." She hugs him and he hugs back, embracing her around the shoulders, soft enough that it could be a cuddle, but firm enough to know his intentions and that he's real, and he cares for you. He really has the best hugs._ _

__He breathes deep when they let go. "Good."_ _

__"I don't know why you were so worried I wouldn't like it." Perrie shakes her head._ _

__"That's what we said," the three boys all say, rolling their eyes at Niall._ _

__Niall side eyes them while Perrie just laughs. "And the extra shifts at work were no problem, you know that."_ _

__"I know, but there's just been so many," Niall sighs. He really hates feeling like he owes people, he always feels like a disappointment or something. He likes to feel free, and with stuff hanging over his head, there's barely room for that. Plus, he hates making other people cater to his needs and whims; when he was on crutches he insisted on doing as much as he could by himself, until Harry promptly shoved his ass onto the couch and made him sit down before he hurt himself again for the rest of the weeks he was disabled._ _

__"It's fine, really," Perrie assures him. "Anyway, I should get going. I'm having dinner with my parents."_ _

__She bids them all goodbye, giving Louis a longer hug than everyone else's, and getting Liam's number so they could definitely stay in touch this time. They all promise to have her around again soon and Niall fucking beams from behind her, it's quite blinding. And then she's gone and Louis exhales, leaning into Liam; one down, one to go._ _

__•••_ _

__Liam's picking at the fray of Louis' shirt when he opens his eyes. He's leaning on one elbow, facing Louis, watching him wake up._ _

__"What's wrong?" Louis asks immediately, noticing the uneasy look on Liam's face. He rubs the sleep from his eyes and matches Liam's position to face him._ _

__"Nothing," Liam says, sighing._ _

__"We both know that's a lie," Louis states, grabbing his hand to stop him from messing with the strings on his shirt. He laces his fingers through Liam's. "What is it?"_ _

__He sighs again, heavily, not meeting Louis' eyes. Louis grazes his thumb over the back of Liam's hand, waiting for him to speak. He finally lifts his head up, chewing his lip nervously. "I just - are you sure you wanna do this?"_ _

__"Liam," Louis groans, dropping his hand. "Will you stop worrying? I'll be fine, okay? It's just Zayn, he's not gonna kill me."_ _

__Liam nods. "Well, it's just that you already had to deal with Perrie, and all that, and I know this is a lot for you, cause you don't like - I know how you feel about him and stuff and I know you're trying for me but you don't have to do anything else for me, you've done enough. And it's Zayn, it's weird and I don't want you to be uncomfortable. I wanna make sure you're -"_ _

__Louis leans up and kisses him, cutting him off. "Liam, will you shut up?" he mumbles against his mouth._ _

__"No," Liam says back, and they both smile. Louis presses his lips harder against Liam's, kissing him just a little more._ _

__"Good morning," he says to Liam when he pulls back. He grabs his hand again. "Look, I'll be fine, okay? Please stop stressing over it. I want to do this, for me, too, alright?"_ _

__Liam nods. "Okay. But I'm taking you out for ice cream afterwards."_ _

__"Fine," Louis leans back against the pillows. "But make it those smoothies we used to get. I miss those."_ _

__"Deal," Liam smiles, leaning down to kiss his boyfriend again._ _

__Louis thinks about all their months together as they kiss, how they got here. Never in a million years did Louis think his boyfriend would be getting him to hang out with Zayn of all people, much less have a boyfriend. He's come so far from his three date rule, and the more he thinks about it, the more impossible it would've been with anyone but Liam. He pulls him closer to his body, wrapping his leg around Liam's thigh, trying to say some sort of meager thanks for giving him the help he didn't know he needed, or thought he deserved. He loves him, he does. He knew it from the first bite of chicken florentine all those months ago, and he thinks that's what scared him the most._ _

__"You know," Liam pulls back a little, lips swollen and pink, "someone's gotta get breakfast started."_ _

__Louis grabs at him. "Or we could make Harry bring us some." He puts his lips against Liam's neck._ _

__"Good idea," Liam agrees with little hesitation, pressing himself back against Louis, relishing the feel of Louis' lips on his, the taste of his tongue, his skin, his heart. He wraps an arm tighter around Louis' waist, pulling him as close as can be, their bodies melding together like one. Liam thinks this is what love is like, being able to kiss someone in your bed, every morning, every day, every night. Being with the same person and never getting tired of them, never getting enough, really. When just the thought of their eyes or smile is always more than enough. Liam knows he's found it with Louis, and he doesn't think he ever wants to let it go._ _

__•••_ _

__"Are you sure I shouldn't grab him a bucket?"_ _

__"Niall!" Louis yells exasperatedly from the kitchen. "If you say anything else I swear to God I will go to your house and break all your Fifa discs. And learn how to fucking whisper while you're at it." He rubs his temples._ _

__"Nah, he's fine," Harry says, laughing a little._ _

__"I'm just saying," Niall defends, leaning back into the couch. Niall's been whispering, quote unquote, constantly about Louis, just adding to his nervousness about Zayn coming over. He's going to be here any moment, and Louis' trying to steel his nerves, gripping the countertop as hard as he can._ _

__He thought he was okay, thought he could handle it. But as the morning went on and the boys arrived he got increasingly woozy and anxious and he can't stop thinking about all the possible ways this could go wrong. It's not the fact that he'll never be able to mend things with Zayn, or the fact that it might ruin Liam and Zayn's friendship - which he is still highly worried about, though - it's the fact that this could possibly ruin things for him and Liam. That's what makes his stomach bubble and churn. He doesn't want things to end, especially over this, he feels like he's been with Liam a second, and he needs about a billion more of them before he could even think about them not being together, which he doesn't want to at all. This is either going to go fantastically well or horribly wrong, and if things with Perrie went great there's no chance this will, too._ _

__He gulps._ _

__"Hey," Liam comes up behind him, using that tone he does when he's worried about Louis, which usually means he's acting like a baby. He slides his hand across Louis' back._ _

__"I'm fine," Louis says before he can even ask the question. "Really. It's just...taking some time to sink in, you know?"_ _

__Liam just pulls him into a hug, kissing his forehead. He squeezes his arms around him. He doesn't need to say anything, and Louis doesn't need to hear anything, none of it would be as helpful as either of them would like anyways._ _

__The doorbell rings and Louis whispers, "shit," multiple times. He lets go of Liam, taking a breath before going to answer the door._ _

__"What are you doing?" Liam asks, coming up behind him. "I'll get it."_ _

__"No, if this is gonna work, I gotta show him how good we are, and that I'm okay with him, I want him to be okay with me, too," Louis says, suddenly feeling less nervous than before._ _

__Liam smiles. He leans down to kiss Louis' cheek. "Okay."_ _

__Louis goes to the door. He opens it trying to look as welcoming and natural as possible. "Hey, Zayn."_ _

__Zayn's a little taken by surprise, not expecting Louis to answer. "Hey," he says back, offering a smile._ _

__"Come on in," Louis steps back, letting Zayn through, mentally slapping himself - he was supposed to ask him how it was going, strike up a conversation, show him he's not complete shit._ _

__"Thanks," he says. "Hey, Liam." The smile on his face is bigger and real - obviously - when he greets his friend, who hugs him immediately._ _

__"Hey, man, glad you could make it," Liam says, smiling just as broad._ _

__" _Glad you could make it_ ," Louis says to himself, hating that he wasn't able to form five simple words. _Stupid, stupid, stupid_._ _

__He shuffles into the living room, rubbing his forearm nervously. Harry catches his eye as Zayn and Liam get situated, and they share a look and Louis just smiles back softly, because he doesn't really know if he's okay now, but he wants to be, and he wants everyone to stop asking him that._ _

__"And you remember Niall and Harry," Liam says and Niall pops up off the chair, already greeting him with his signature friendly charm. Harry can't stop himself from doing it either, as reluctant as he is because he knows what Louis' feeling. And Louis loves both of them, for all that they are._ _

__Somehow, Louis finds himself on the same team as Zayn and Harry, playing against Liam and Niall; Harry needs all the help he can get, and Louis and Niall are too good to be on the same team, as Liam and Harry so maturely whined about for ten minutes. And Niall wouldn't allow Harry on his team, not after last time he let him have a chance and he ended up scoring two goals for Louis' team (the first time Niall let him have the ball, and the only way it happened again was because he was taking a piss and Harry wanted to prove to him he could do it, which didn't work out so well, obviously)._ _

__"Dude, pass it, pass it pass it," Zayn calls to Louis, his tongue sticking out between his teeth as his fingers work the controller._ _

__"Got it," Louis toggles the ball to Zayn, over Niall's head, and together they dribble the ball back and forth to the goal. "Kick it!" Louis passes the ball to Zayn who headbutts it into the goal, whizzing past Liam._ _

__"Sick!" Zayn cheers, high-fiving Louis over Liam's actual head._ _

__"That's 3 to nothing, boys. What do you have to say for yourselves?" Louis taunts, bumping fists with Harry._ _

__"Lucky shot," Niall mumbles. "Maybe if Liam was a better goalie we would've won," he jeers pointedly._ _

__"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Louis says, popping a handful of chips in his mouth._ _

__"And I don't appreciate your comments, Niall," Liam pouts. "You're the one who put me on the goal in the first place. If anything it's your own stupid fault we lost."_ _

__Niall can't form words and throws a pillow at Liam. "Wow! So he can catch! Wouldn't have known from all the balls he let fly by!"_ _

__Liam beams the pillow back, and Niall falls off the arm rest. "Looks like I can throw pretty well, too."_ _

__"Alright, boys, I think that's enough," Louis interjects, rubbing Liam's back and laughing at how heated Niall gets over this game, made obvious by the steam blowing out of his ears as he sits back up. "Me and Zayn won fair and square, alright?"_ _

__"Hey!" Harry yells._ _

__"Oh, yeah, Harry, too," Louis adds with indifference, for which Harry thumps him on the head and Zayn snickers._ _

__"Yeah, speaking of which," Niall looks to Harry, "when the fuck did you get so good?"_ _

__Harry shrugs, trying to hide the smirk on his face as he picks his nails. "I've been practicing. Looks like you might need some lessons yourself."_ _

__"I'll check my calendar, see if I can squeeze him in," Louis laughs, looping his arm through Liam's._ _

__"You?" Niall practically spits. "Why would you do that? You're breaking the dynamic, Louis! We're _supposed_ to make fun of Harry! What's the point now that you've been helping him get better?" He holds his head in his hands._ _

__"Oh, cheer up, Niall. There's no way he can be better than us, that's out of the question," Louis says and Niall looks up hopefully, nodding in truth, while Harry scoffs. "Please, Harry, just because you got most improved doesn't mean you're anywhere near the level me and Niall are at. It's science."_ _

__"What about me?" Liam pipes up. Niall and Louis share a look and burst out into laughter._ _

__"That's a good one, babe," Louis kisses Liam cheek with tears in his eyes from laughing._ _

__"I'm serious," he pouts, and Louis can't help but to run his thumb over his bottom lip, trying to push his mouth into a smile. Liam looks at Louis and they share this sort of moment, and then it doesn't really matter who's the best at Fifa, not that Liam really cared anyways. He puts his hand over Louis' and brings it to his lips for a soft kiss before putting them back in his lap, their fingers intertwined as Niall still laughs in the background._ _

__"If we're going to be ranked here," he starts, "it's gonna be me, Louis, Zayn, Liam, then Harry, just barely made the list, bro."_ _

__"How can I barely make the list? The list doesn't exist without me!" Harry says._ _

__"Yes, and with you, it's like an endless scroll with all these empty spaces between yours and Liam's name; you're in like, size 9 font at the very, very bottom," Louis teases. "And besides, if there was a list," he turns to Niall, "it'd be me, _then_ you, then Zayn, then Liam, and you know, Harry." Harry's face sinks again and Zayn pats his leg. "An argument can be made for us tying for first."_ _

__"You're so full of shit," Niall laughs, taking a sip of beer._ _

__And then Louis is laughing, too, and so is Liam, and then Zayn, and even Harry joins in eventually. And all the teasing, and the game, and the score goes away, it doesn't really matter, it's just fun. They're always back to laughing and shoving just like friends should, best friends. And it doesn't feel weird with Zayn there, if anything the aura is lifted with a fifth person, it feels right, despite all that's between the three on the couch. Liam's still holding Louis' hand as he claps Zayn on the back, and Zayn smiles at Louis across from Liam, and Louis returns it, looking back to Harry who's dimples are always showing it seems, and he's laughing at Niall who's practically falling over in laughter again, and it all feels like it fits, Louis thinks. Like a puzzle, they were just fine with three, you could still tell what the picture was supposed to be, but then Liam was added, made it a little clearer, and now with Zayn, that one corner piece you can never find, but when you do, it's like everything comes together, and it really has. Granted, they've only spent a few hours together, but Louis thinks it's a big step towards reconciliation or whatever it is that needs to happen, and he can't help but to plant a kiss on Liam's lips, just out of sheer happiness. He pulls back and he sees Zayn out of the corner of his eye, and there's a smile there, it's small, but it means everything Louis' been waiting for, it means things really are looking up and they can move on and he can _be_ with Liam and everything has come full circle. He smiles back as Liam pulls his face back to his for another kiss, their mouths fitting together just like their fingers fit in the spaces between the others', and Niall and Harry groan and start throwing chips at them, and Zayn just laughs from next to them. Then Liam can't take it anymore - there's crumbs _everywhere_ \- and he starts yelling at Harry and Niall for their mess and they start teasing him and Louis laughs from the couch, leaning into where Liam just was, and Zayn is next to him, smiling just as big, watching them argue. They share a look and yeah, Louis thinks, it's definitely all good. _ _

__•••_ _

__It's become this thing that Louis couldn't try to ignore even if he wanted to, which he doesn't. Not at all. He's enjoying this feeling all too much, being able to be with Liam whenever he's not working, enjoying the summer heat far more than he usually does if it means beach dates, relishing all the nights they spend together, whether they just watch movie or lay in bed or have sex, it's everything to Louis. He couldn't love it more. He couldn't love _Liam_ more; he didn't even know he could love someone like this at all, let alone just having this constant build of affection and compassion ready to burst at the seams now if he doesn't let it out, somehow. It's August now, he doesn't know how he's gone this long without doing something about it. He wants it to be special, but part of him knows Liam will think it's special no matter how he does it, but it's the principle of the thing. He's got to make some big, grand, romantic gesture of course. He wouldn't be him if he didn't. And Liam deserves that much, given all he's had to put up with when it comes to Louis. Louis wants to do this, a simple "I love you" isn't enough, he needs to _show_ him. _ _

__He thinks he stumbles upon it a week or two after Liam goes back to teaching, when he's got the day off and the other boys' shifts are odd and they're all hanging out at Louis'. Zayn gets him to start talking about how they even met in the first place, since he doesn't really know, but that topic only came up after Zayn was going on and on about his new guy. Louis tells him all about how Harry set them up - which he interrupts him for repeatedly to boast about - and how they had a second first date and then Zayn's comic showing of course, and how it took them forever to get in a groove where Louis finally felt sure enough about himself to accept everything that was happening to him - but he doesn't go into too much detail about that, he barely feels comfortable saying more to Harry and Niall about it, definitely not Zayn. And things have been better between them, they're getting along just fine and all the awkward tension from the beginning is alleviated now. It's like those past two years of Zayn steaming and brooding and Louis hitting himself harder and harder each day for it just evaporated. Gone forever. And Louis is grateful that's how things worked out, if he had known before he would click this well with Zayn, he never would've done that to him. And Perrie even comes by a few more times, never when Zayn's around though; they both know that they all know the other, but have never made an effort to be in the same place at the same time. Louis can understand that, even with all the water under the bridge it's still murky and the bride is just wood attached to ropes, it's nothing to be messed with. But it works, they all find time to be with each other and everything is going too smoothly for Louis' taste; he's always had some type of drama going on at one point or another, but nothing like that now. He realizes there doesn't have to be any extra nonsense like that in order to have a life with meaning or to remember times, he just needs the good people surrounding him and he needs to be happy and he knows he finally is. For real, not "just content and getting by with life" happy, but happy happy, the way life's supposed to be lived; the kind you find when you ditch college and go backpacking across Europe to "find yourself." And Louis did, he just needed Liam to give him the push in the right direction. He thinks he would've gotten there eventually, but it would've been far too late, and the view wouldn't have been quite as nice._ _

__Niall and Harry join in Louis' rambling about Liam with their disgusted noises and groans and pretending to puke, but Louis doesn't mind. If anything it makes him more sure he loves Liam, if it's so grossly obvious to his two best friends then it must be worth something, worth keeping around forever. Which he really, really, really wants to, and he intends to, because this is a first for him, and he wants it to be his last. He came close once, thought it was the real thing, but now that he has Liam he knows it didn't even compare. It wasn't real, it was like puppy love, short but full of all these feelings you don't know what to do with so you try and latch on for as long as possible. But now he knows what he's doing, he's got control, and he can steer fine as long as Liam is in the passenger seat beside him._ _

__"So... that's how you're gonna tell him?" Zayn asks, leaning back into the couch._ _

__"Yeah," Louis nods, feeling surer about his decision with the cheesy smile on Harry's face, and the nod from Zayn._ _

__"'S cute," Zayn smiles. "Almost disgustingly."_ _

__"Good," Louis smiles back._ _

__"Personally, I would've just told him already," Niall cuts in. "You've been together for like, what, almost a year, you're sad."_ _

__Louis lets that sink in. It has been almost a year hasn't it? Seven and half months, but still, that's a lot, especially when most people are throwing that word out there two weeks into a relationship. The thing is, he's not doubtful Liam loves him too, why would he be with him this long if he didn't? They just came to this understanding about it, Louis would say it when he's ready, and he is. And he wants it to be special regardless. And it will, it's going to be. Friday is the day._ _

__"Yes, thank you, O Great King of Romance," Louis snides to Niall, his eyes rolling up in his head._ _

__"I'm just saying, I would've been expecting it by now," he shrugs. "If I were Liam I'd be a little worried."_ _

__"Hey. Niall," Harry interjects, "Shut. Up."_ _

__"It's not like that," Louis starts. He wants to explain it more, but at the same time he doesn't. It's a him and Liam thing, something only for them, he doesn't want to share it with them, or anyone. He wants it to stay theirs, wrapped up in a tiny little box that seems bottomless as more scribbling of their story is tossed inside as each day goes on, locked away forever, them having the only two keys. Louis loves that box, the L and L he can picture inscribed on it, wrapped in a blue bow and tucked away under Liam's mattress, hidden only for their eyes to find; now he wishes there was an actual box, whether they fill it or not, it'd be a nice sentiment. "I'm gonna go," Louis says, standing up. He doesn't want to be around this anymore, but mostly he just wants to get home and wait for Liam to walk through the door so he can pepper him with kisses._ _

__"Louis -" Niall starts but he cuts him off._ _

__"Don't worry, it's not your fault," he assures Niall as he puts his shoes back on. "Even though you are the master of faux pas," he mumbles, grabbing his keys._ _

__"Good luck, since we probably won't see you before Friday," Harry says._ _

__"Thanks," Louis smiles._ _

__"Later, man. Let me know if you need help getting anything," Zayn offers._ _

__Louis shakes his head. "I'm good, thanks. See ya, guys."_ _

__He leaves, making a reminder to go to the supermarket after his shift tomorrow._ _

__•••_ _

__Louis can't believe he's never been to Liam's school before. Liam's even visited him at the shop, even got a tattoo there - " _somewhere is a place that nobody knows_ " - and Louis has never even set foot in the building. He barely remembered the name of it, had to use the Internet for help, which makes him feel awful, but he's about to make up for it, and Liam doesn't have to know. _ _

__He's got five minutes until the final bell, and he tugs the box out of his car, straining under its weight as he walks towards the building. He doesn't really care if the kids see him; he just doesn't want them around when the words finally leave his lips._ _

__The sun is bright, and the air is crisp, and Louis thinks what a beautiful day it is, and how it couldn't be more perfect. He breathes in the sunshine, basking in it for just a moment longer before opening the doors._ _

__He has to ask what room Liam is in, and the woman he asks tries to stop him, but he explains he's just visiting, and she makes him open the box. She gives him a skeptical look and Louis just shrugs and tries to put on a charming smile._ _

__"Ohhh, you must be the boyfriend," she waggles her finger as she comes in realization. Her smile is knowing, but soft. "Go on up, 214."_ _

__"Thank you, Louis smiles, readjusting the box in his arms, feeling a little more confident. Liam talks about him at work? He can't help but to grin at the thought - fact. And apparently he talks about him enough that it was almost obvious who Louis was when he walked in. He's a little proud, if he's going to be honest, but mostly just giddy._ _

__He makes it to the room, knocking on the door just for warning before opening it wide. All heads turn to him as he walks through, conversations ceasing momentarily._ _

__"Louis? What are you doing here?" Liam asks from his desk, trying to play off the smile creeping onto his face. Louis doesn't know why, his kids were back to mingling and talking not even a second after he came in._ _

__He walks over and plops the box on Liam's desk, careful not to crush anything. "Just have a little present for you."_ _

__"Little?" Liam repeats, laughing some. He stands up as the bell rings. All his kids shuffle out of the class. "Bye, everyone! Have a good weekend!"_ _

__A chorus of "you too"s and "bye, Mr. Payne"s are thrown out as they shuffle into the hall. Liam goes to close the door behind the last student, and Louis comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around his front, his chin resting on his shoulder._ _

__"Mr. Payne, I like the sound of that," he nips at Liam's skin through his T-shirt._ _

__"Louiiis," Liam drawls, getting out of his grip._ _

__"What? Are you not glad to see me?" Louis pouts._ _

__Liam sighs. "Of course I am." He pulls Louis in for a quick kiss. "But you know you're not supposed to be here."_ _

__"School's over, who cares?" Louis shrugs as Liam walks back to his desk, shaking his head. "Do any of them know?" He plants himself on one of the desks in front of Liam's._ _

__He shuffles some papers, running a hand over his face. "Not really, no. I think some do, but, what are you gonna do. I can't just downright tell them."_ _

__"Sure you can," Louis shrugs. "It's easy. Just say 'Class, I'm gay, and I've got the most amazing boyfriend in the world and a sore butt to prove it.'"_ _

__Liam flicks him on the head. "Shut up."_ _

__"Well, it's true." Louis jumps off the desk. "I must be so amazing if I come bearing gifts and _someone_ doesn't even appreciate it." The other part is half true, too; ever since the first night Louis took the lead, so to speak, he's been doing it more often, but not too much; neither of them want that to change._ _

__Liam sighs again. "I'm sorry." He grabs at Louis' waist, pulling him close to him. He nibbles at his ear and nape, placing soft kisses there as well. "Now, what is this gift of yours?"_ _

__"Hang on," Louis mumbles, barely opening his eyes, grabbing Liam's face, pressing his lips against his. Liam wraps his arms around Louis' shoulders, responding immediately. He runs his tongue over Louis' bottom lip and then bites at it, and Louis lets him slip his tongue in, their mouths fitting together. Louis runs his hands over Liam's growing hair - it's thicker at the top now, so he finally has something to grab - and he moans a little into the kiss, pushing himself up against Liam. Liam tightens his grip and deepens the kiss, and Louis has to pull away now because he's starting to forget why he came here in the first place._ _

__Liam almost whines, but Louis takes a step back from him so neither of them is tempted again. It doesn't work well and he can't help but to run his finger over Liam's swollen lip, cupping his cheek in his palm as he does so. He kisses Liam's nose gently, before leaning back, sliding his hand away._ _

__"Open it," his voice is barely above a whisper, soft and croaked with everything he's feeling._ _

__"Okay," Liam smiles, walking over to the box. "It's cold," he laughs in confusion as he removes the tape that wasn't really doing much after Louis opened it for inspection a few minutes ago. He opens the top flaps and Louis can see the confusion on Liam's face, but only for a second, because then his breath hitches a little, and his face slackens into awe, and he picks up just one container of strawberry banana yogurt, looking at Louis without words to say._ _

__"I noticed we never really have any of that," Louis starts. "We always go out for my stupid wild berry or whatever, and you never have anything of your own. I know you said you liked the smoothies, but I mean, this is close enough, right? And if you don't like it, or decide you actually hate strawberry banana yogurt, or something, we can always return it. I got it at the bulk store. There's more in my fridge at home, I made them give me everything they had. I just -"_ _

__Liam throws his arms around Louis' neck, pulling him in tight. He doesn't say anything, he can't, he just squeezes him as hard as he thinks he can without hurting him, which it does a little, but Louis doesn't mind at all. He hugs him back, resting his head in the crook of his neck. Liam smells like cologne and detergent, and he inhales him, letting him fill his senses, hoping maybe now strawberry banana will be added to the mix, because Louis really can't get over how enticing it is when Liam's breath smells like that, radiating out and around Louis, pulling him in closer than he already was._ _

__"Why?" Liam whispers, almost laughing. "Why'd you buy all these?"_ _

__Louis pulls back a little, because he needs to look Liam in the eye when he says this. He takes a breath. "Well, I wanted to do something special for you. You deserve it, and I know this isn't, like, a Rolex or anything, but... I guess I just wanted to make you happy, I mean, I do, I always want to, but I just wanted to show you how I feel because just seeing a smile on your face is all I need to brighten my day, so maybe that's what it is. I wanted to see you smile. Because I love your smile, and...you." He slides his hands from around Liam's back and tangles his fingers with his. "I love you, Liam."_ _

__And Louis gets what he wanted, Liam's face is split by a smile, warm and grand, endearing and blinding, everything Louis loves most. His eyes get glossy and he squeezes Louis' hands, before letting go of them with a slight sniffle. He rests either hand on his cheeks, the pad of his thumb just under Louis' eyes. Louis grabs his wrists and he can't help it, a fucking tear falls from his eye. Liam wipes it away, his eyes peering into Louis' and Louis stares right back, getting lost in the brown of the woods as Liam gets lost in the sea and they finally understand "eyes are the window to the soul."_ _

__"I love you, too," Liam breathes out, mashing his lips against Louis'. The kiss has no stops, and Louis' is tasting Liam's tongue in seconds, running his tongue over his teeth and his hands through his hair as Liam lifts him to a desk, setting him back gently. Liam slips himself between Louis' legs, which he wraps around Liam's back. Liam's hands run along Louis' back, riding his shirt up, leaving goose bumps in the places his fingertips grazed over his skin, but Louis doesn't care, it makes him push himself further into the kiss, his chest against Liam's as they move in a fluid motion, full of limbs and empty breaths and heaving chests and tight muscles. Their "I love you"s fill in all the spaces they aren't touching, molding over any cracks they might've had, gluing them together, fixing all their pieces into one._ _

__It somehow becomes Louis laying back on the desk, his back suspended while his head rests on the desk behind him, Liam's arm around his torso to hold him up. It's not exactly comfortable, but they're a little too wrapped up in each other to notice. That is, until they lose their balance and Louis almost breaks his neck and he falls down into the chair, Liam awkwardly splayed on the desk in front of him. And after the initial shock of terror, they're laughing, almost hysterically. Louis tries to help Liam stay balanced by clutching his shirt, but they're both in uncouth positions and it's hard for Liam to not slide off the table inch by inch, and at that point they just give up, laughing more at their ridiculousness and Liam untangles himself, stretching his limbs as much as he can without straining himself as his muscles shake with laughter. Louis is as doubled over as he can be, almost quite literally given his position in the chair, eyes scrunched tight as he clutches his stomach while Liam tries not to trip and fall._ _

__"Maybe- maybe we should try that at home," Liam gasps out, reaching for Louis. He grabs his hands and pulls him out the chair, Louis yipping like a puppy._ _

__"Yeah," Louis agrees, breathing out, "maybe we should."_ _

__Liam pulls him a little closer, leaning to kiss his forehead, their laughter dying down. He looks at Louis and puts his hand on his face again, sliding it back into his hair. Louis leans into the touch, tipping his chin up to kiss Liam, smiling all too much for it to be an actual kiss._ _

__"Speaking of home," Liam starts, toying with the fabric on Louis' shirt, "Do you want to move in with me?" His stare is intense and Louis couldn't tear his eyes away even if he wanted to.  
Louis all but laughs. "Kinda thought we already had, I don’t think I've actually _lived_ in my apartment for a few months now._ _

__"Well, yeah, but now I'm, you know," Liam starts, swaying a little, "making it official."_ _

__Louis smiles at his boyfriend, and the tint to his cheeks and the smile playing on his lips. "Well, then I'm officially saying yes." He slips his arms behind Liam's back, swaying with him. Liam's smile grows and he whispers a "good" as he leans down to kiss the boy in his arms._ _

__"I love you," Liam breathes against Louis' lips, pecking them again and again, holding his head._ _

__"I love you," Louis repeats, pressing his lips against Liam's jaw line, squeezing his waist._ _

__Liam licks his lips. "Let's go back to mine."_ _

__"Ours," Louis corrects, poking at Liam's chest before he rests his head against it. He nods "But, yeah." He swallows. "Please."_ _

__Louis grabs the box of yogurt and Liam stuffs all his papers into his briefcase, grabbing his coat and coffee mug on the way out. Louis would hold his hand if it didn't mean dropping the box, but Liam puts his hand on Louis' back as they walk out anyway. He feels the warmth seep through his shirt and over his skin, billowing out over his back, reaching up and around to his neck and ribcage, engulfing him. He feels his skin go pink from the heat, and he would feel embarrassed if it didn't feel so comforting. He leans back into Liam's hand, relishing the touch._ _

__Another teacher is walking their way, and Liam waves to greet her and adds a "have a good weekend."_ _

__"I'll make sure to have those desks of yours sanitized before your students use them again," she smirks, gesturing between the two of them._ _

__Liam blushes and laughs nervously, not acknowledging what she said but not ignoring her either, just pushing Louis forward with pink cheeks._ _

__"Does that mean she saw us?" Louis asks lowly to Liam._ _

__"Yes, it does," the woman calls out from behind them._ _

__Liam and Louis giggle to themselves and rush down the hall. When they get out the front doors, they have to separate because some students are still outside, but it's alright, it's just for a little bit, and they drove separate cars, anyhow._ _

__"You're never allowed to visit me again," Liam laughs as they walk to Liam's car. Louis kind of just left his on the curb, taking up space for all the minivans coming to pick up their kids. He shrugs, they'll get over it._ _

__"I think that'd be best," Louis agrees, a cheesy smile on his face. They're submerged in the faculty parking lot now, so Louis doesn't miss the chance for a public display of affection, and bumps against Liam as they walk, resting his head against his shoulder. Liam chuckles and immediately wraps his arm around Louis' shoulders, kissing the top of his head, resting his against Louis'. It's not entirely comfortable to walk this way, but they honestly don't care; it's worth it, even if it's only for a few more steps, and they know this is one of the many, many, nuances of love, just a small little thread in the cloth they've woven together; it's just a thing they do, it's natural, because Louis honestly believes he was made to be with Liam._ _

__Liam sets his crap on top of his car when they reach it. He takes the box from Louis and does the same, grabbing Louis' neck after that's done. He smiles at him, running his thumbs over the skin under his ear, grazing the tufts of hair there. He leans down and kisses him gently, but lingering, and he feels it flow through him as he closes his eyes, he feels the gust of wind that knocks his heart out of his chest, he feels the surge of electricity that swells his heart, he feels the butterflies let loose in his stomach, but all the while he feels surprisingly calm. He's where he's meant to be, he thinks this is what home feels like._ _

__He pulls back. "I'll see you in twenty, okay?" His voice cracks a little, but it's the good kind, the kind that means that even though they'll be separated for a short time, he'll be thinking of him anyways, like he does every day, and he'll be missing him so much more than he usually does when he leaves for work, so much more than what he should feel for a twenty minute drive, so much more than is rational or humanly possible, but he will._ _

__Louis nods. "Yeah." His voice is like a whisper, getting caught in the wind. He puts Liam's stuff and the yogurt in back for him as he climbs in the car._ _

__Louis rushes back to his car, anxious for these twenty minutes to go by. He doesn't even want to go to have sex, well, obviously he does, but that's no different than any other day, he just wants to _be_ with Liam. And he thinks he should feel like a fucking loser, all sappy and emotional, but he doesn't. A year ago, yeah, he would've felt like that, but not now, not after all that's happened, all he's learned. He's happy, he feels like he's on top of the world, and the feeling honestly couldn't be better. He's in love, and it's fucking great, and that's all there is to it. No complications, no limitations, it is what it is, and Louis can't believe he was missing out on it all this time. But then he thinks it had to happen like this, it had to happen when he had reached a low, when all he needed was a push in either direction for it to become his life, so he could appreciate all that Liam is and all that he gives him, all that he does for him. It had to happen like this so Liam could actually love him, so Louis could truly reciprocate it, so he could know this feeling for sure._ _

__That's why he lets Liam have him after he's parked and seen his car in the lot, after he rushes up the stairs instead of using the elevator, after he pounds on the door only to have Liam open it after two knocks and pull him inside, kissing him madly. Louis doesn't care what they're doing as long as they're together, it could be anything from talking to watching T.V. to eating to having sex - which they are in fact about to do - it doesn't matter to Louis; he's got Liam and that's all he needs._ _

__Liam runs his hands wildly through Louis' hair, and Louis does the same to his back, pushing them towards the bedroom. He fumbles with Liam's belt buckle as they shuffle in, Liam pulling Louis' hoodie off and tossing it aside. They kick their shoes off and fall back on the bed, all the while still connected at the lips. They manage to get their pants off with the least amount of trouble they've ever gone through, but they have no choice but to break apart to get their shirts off, Liam licking his lips with a twinkle in his eye before he brings his head back down to kiss Louis. And it's all skin on skin, touching and feeling and breathing, pressure building in their stomachs and cocks. Liam fits his thigh between Louis', adding to the intensity, pressing himself tightly against a half-hard Louis, and he can feel his own against Louis' waist, and Louis uses his hand to push Liam down by the small of his back, adding more heat, and it's glorious._ _

__One of them moans during the exchange and Liam is sliding his hand down to Louis' waist. He pinches at the supple skin along his hip and inner thigh, making Louis flinch ever so slightly. Liam trails his fingers along the underside of Louis' cock, Louis twitching and shuddering and then Liam grabs it and this time it's positive it's Louis who moans. Liam starts pumping his hand slowly, teasingly, lightly, his other hand playing in Louis' hair. He works on him more, faster now, thumbing his tip just the way Louis likes._ _

__"Liam," Louis half whines, half moans, into Liam's mouth. Liam sucks on his bottom lip in response, moving his hand faster without method._ _

__Louis is trying to do something, anything, back to Liam but Liam won't let him, keeping himself pressed tightly against Louis with no room to break them apart. Louis can only rake his nails across Liam's back, gripping tightly in spurts he's sure will leave crescent marks on his skin, kissing him back hard and rough, because what else can he do right now?_ _

__He almost cries out when he comes, which is a rarity, but he's never been so inhibited before, even if he chooses not to reciprocate, he's never been blocked off from it; he doesn't like that. White ropes spurt against Liam's torso and Louis breathes deeply and irregularly as Liam continues to stroke him lightly. Liam hasn't disconnected himself from Louis' lips once, so when he does so to smile down at Louis and run his hands over his hair, Louis almost whines at the loss of contact. But then he seizes the opportunity to roll Liam off of him, moving down almost immediately to blow him. Liam's already almost there, and he moans when Louis puts his mouth on him. Louis needs to keep Liam from coming until he's recomposed so he can fuck him right, and tease him like he did Louis of course._ _

__Louis hollows his cheeks and bobs his head up and down, tantalizingly slow, flicking his tongue with gradual strokes. Liam fidgets underneath him as he continues the job, dragging it out as long as possible. Liam's breathing is going rapid as Louis keeps opening and closing his mouth around him, and he fists some of the bed covers._ _

__"Fuck...ing...shit...shit, shit," Liam breathes out, wriggling more under Louis as he gets closer._ _

__Louis knows he's one-upped him on the teasing front, not that it's a competition, but he definitely won. When he finally feels himself start to get hard again, he inches a finger back to Liam's ass, not wasting any time as he circles Liam, whose hips buck up at Louis' touch. He takes his mouth off of Liam's cock, kissing his thighs and hips and stomach as he rims him. Liam starts pushing down on Louis' finger, and Louis gets some of his come from Liam's chest on his fingers before he sticks one inside him. Liam shudders and Louis pumps and circles, sucking and kissing Liam's side. After a while of this he slips another finger in, then a third, then Liam's meeting him halfway on his thrusts, and Louis glances up to see Liam's face scrunched together, his eyebrows knitted, mouth in a kind of open frown._ _

__Louis readjusts himself so he can lean up to peck Liam on the forehead, then the lips. Liam opens his eyes and Louis nods once before kissing him again. He flips Liam over and removes his fingers and trails them along Liam's thighs as he presses his cock against his hole. Liam groans and bucks back and Louis kisses the back of his neck, sliding himself in, half-hard again. Liam's skin is flushed and his fists are balled as Louis thrusts into him. Liam tries to stroke himself as Louis works him, but Louis takes his hands and pins them to his sides, holding them with his own. Liam whimpers a little and then moans loud when Louis hits against his prostate. Louis aims there each time following, deciding it's been long enough torture for Liam. He slides in and out sloppier and harder and faster, and he feels the pressure in his own cock building, and then Liam is coming all over the sheets, torso rising and falling quickly. Louis pauses for a moment and Liam pulls himself off of Louis, turning back around and pushing Louis to the bed with such strength and speed, Louis is surprised. He barely has time to react before Liam's mouth is on his dick, his tongue lapping around him and flattening out against his tip. Louis shudders as Liam continues this, adding his hand to the part of Louis he can't get with his mouth. He pumps and hollows his cheeks and works his tongue without care, and Louis is coming in not even a minute. Liam swallows all of it and uses his shirt to wipe the come off his shirt from earlier as Louis tries to return his breathing to normal._ _

__Liam crawls up beside him, resting his chin against his shoulder. "Okay, no more teasing like that again." He kisses Louis' collarbone._ _

__"Deal," Louis wraps an arm around his shoulders. "You asked for it, though." He kisses his forehead._ _

__Liam just humphs in response, knowing Louis' right. He traces his fingers along Louis' collarbone and chest, following along the lines of his tattoos. Louis stops him with his own hand, lacing his fingers through his and bringing it to his lips for a moment. Liam dances his fingers on Louis' mouth and Louis chuckles, pressing his lips against them again, moving his other hand to stroke Liam's head._ _

__It's quite the struggle, making the come covered sheet fall to the floor and grabbing the blanket without moving from their position. But Liam manages to grab the blanket with his feet, having to reach only a little, and the sheet was so rustled it moved away with a few kicks of the legs. He brings the blanket up over the both of them, reaching for the T.V. remote. They watch some show, almost laughing at the fact that it's not even dinner time yet. But neither of them make a move to get out of bed, they're just fine right here._ _

__Louis kisses Liam's forehead and mumbles a "love you," as he closes his eyes._ _

__Liam traces the words onto his chest, dotting the "i" with a kiss._ _

__He leans up and kisses Louis' jaw, turning his face so he can kiss him full on the lips. They kiss softly for a while as the crowd of the show laughs in the background. When they break apart Louis sighs contentedly, resting his cheek atop Liam's head. He tries to keep his eyes open as long as possible, laughing at the dialogue with Liam, but with the way Liam's growing hair is softer than his pillow, the way Liam's breath is blowing against Louis' skin, the way his fingers are light against his waist, the way he smiles at whatever's happening, the way his leg is warm against his, the way his feet aren't freezing tangled with his, the way he fits perfectly with Louis, and with the way the show is filled with laughter, it's all very calming. He closes his eyes and thinks only of the man who he gets to share his life with now, the man he loves with all he has, the man who loves him back with just as much being as he does, the man who opened his eyes, his heart, his soul, the man he never wants to let go. His dreams that night are bright and peaceful and real, having already come true._ _

**Author's Note:**

> if you'd like please be brutally honest in the comments because i need to know what people really thought so i can get better :) kay thanks for reading the figments of my imagination


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